Today we're going to talk about exercise. Now before you start feeling all guilty on me, don't worry- this isn't one of these "you better get your butt in shape before spring break" posts. You guys know me better than that. In fact, it's almost the opposite.
My relationship with exercise has changed a lot over the years. In fact, I would almost say I've come full circle; five years ago, I would work out until I made myself sick just to burn those few extra calories. I thought that injuries were a sign of dedication, not one of obsession. The summer I decided to do a triathlon, I ended up with an injured body and a strained mind.That's why, when I woke up with the flu the morning of my first marathon, after running over 500 training miles in the past year, the real feat was allowing myself to pull out of the race when I started feeling bad at mile 4.
Since then, I've realized that the best kind of exercise is the one that works for your soul as well as your body. I've been spending a lot of time recently trying to figure out what I enjoy doing and what I can see myself doing for the rest of my life, not just in the period of time leading up to a big race. For me that's hiking (incorporating my love of being out in nature), swimming laps (so meditative!), and yoga.
As a broke college student, I'm not one to spend a lot of money on a gym membership or fitness classes. That's why I've been teaching myself yoga and practicing in my own home. So last night, I was on the hunt for new yoga sequences to try, and one of the first hits from a quick Google search lead me to a Women's Health Magazine article on doing yoga at home... Perfect!
What wasn't so perfect? The pop-up ad that appeared in the middle of my reading the article.
I took a screenshot:
Notice anything bad? Like really bad?
How about the fact that to close this ad and get back to whatever you were reading, you literally have to click a link that says "No thanks, I already have a bikini body"... For shame, Women's Health.
Now I know bikini bodies are always a major focus this time of year: spring break is upon us, summer is on the horizon, and by now most of us have given up at least partially on our annual resolution to score that dream body once and for all.
But that doesn't mean that we should revert to all-out body shaming! Seeing this made me feel that what I'm doing for the good of my body and my soul simply isn't good enough. I found myself sitting there thinking, "maybe instead of doing a yoga practice I should be heading out for a run. I'd burn more calories and maybe I'd look thinner for that event I have on Saturday night." It didn't matter that this is the first time in my life I've really felt like I'm finding some inner peace through my workouts instead of even more objectification, or the first time I can feel my injuries healing instead of getting worse. That all seemed irrelevant when I looked at that model's body at the edge of the ad and realized there's no way I'm going to look anywhere near that in my spring break pictures.
And that's exactly where the problem lies: this ad leads you to believe that the only reasonable excuse you could have for not signing up for their plan is because you're already perfect. And because they know you know you're not "perfect," whatever you've decided that word means to you, they're running a successful marketing campaign based off of that fact. And that's a pretty low blow.
I sat looking at this ad for a while last night, puzzling over it as well as my feelings about it, and here's what I came up with: I think it's time we stop buying into this kind of marketing. It's time we stood up for ourselves and our right to feel comfortable, even sexy, in our own skin, in the body we have right now. It's time we clicked the "No thanks, we already have a bikini body" button because, you know what, we do!
And to prove how much I really believe this, here's mine:
It took me a long time to come to terms with this picture. It was taken on a diving trip during a spring break island-hop to Maui, and I had spent nearly 3 months counting calories and running religiously so I would look great on this trip. I'm even wearing a brand new Victoria's Secret bikini I bought to reward my hard work as well as to make me feel extra confident. So when I asked a tourist to capture the moment and I stood there sucking in my stomach so I would look even better, I was expecting this picture to be pretty fabulous.
And by "expecting this picture to be pretty fabulous," I mean I was expecting that I would look really skinny. I was expecting to see a magazine-ready photo that I could plaster all over social media to show my friends what a glamorous life I was living, flaunting my amazing body all over the Hawaiian islands. I wanted something that would make my high school friends comment that I was "looking really good these days," something that would make my exes realize that they really had lost the break-up game.
And what I got was this. A picture of me in a bikini on a boat. A picture that didn't magically change my perspective on my body or lead me to drop all of my insecurities like I had hoped it might. In all honesty, it may have made me feel even more critical! Why? Because of the value I placed on it.
I can basically promise you that no matter how much you insist on looking to your body to validate your self-worth and put all of your insecurities to rest, you're always going to end up disappointed. Self-acceptance comes from your heart, not from what you see when you look in the mirror. So this bikini season, let's give up the whole charade. It's high time you realized that the body you're sitting in is pretty okay. In fact, it's more than okay. It's beautiful, it's real, and it's yours. Come spring break, go rock that bikini you just had to have without shame, without regret, knowing that you may not look like a model, but you'll look happy, and that's just so much more beautiful.
Enjoy the slice,
xo Sonja
P.S. Just in case you need a little extra inspiration, check out this little diddy from country music up-and-comer Kacey Musgraves. It had me smiling ear to ear!
A wonderfully honest, smart commentary.
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