Getting back to work.

Hello old friends and welcome to War and Pieces of Pie, 2014!

One of the things I notice when I take breaks from writing this blog is that I start to slip back into the old habits of body-shaming we all have: lingering a bit too long in front of the mirror, weighing and measuring yourself obsessively, fixating on "quick fixes" instead of on a healthy lifestyle, etc.  Loving your body takes a lot of practice, and when you get out of practice, it becomes a lot harder to incorporate in your daily routine.

So long story short, I'm back.  Again.  Better than ever, as always.

I've been meaning to start blogging again for a few weeks now, but I was waiting for the right opportunity to arise... so when I came across an article called "Why 'Love Your Body' Campaigns Aren't Working," you can imagine I was intrigued.  Now before you get yourself all riled up (my initial reaction!), check out a few of my favorite highlights from Isabel Foxen Duke's article:

• Like an unfortunately large percentage of women in the U.S., I grew up criticizing my body and dieting regularly from a young age.  I spent years of my life terrified I would never get "there," the place where my weight and all perceived rewards of thinness would finally fall into place.

• I remember seeing body-positive campaigns like Dove's Real Beauty or Victoria's Secret's Love Your Body -- campaigns that encourage women to "love the skin they're in" -- and thinking, "that's nice, but I still wish I was thinner."  

•  While changing the figures and images in the media is an important and wonderful first step (particularly for building new beliefs in younger generations), it may fall on deaf ears amongst those who have already been brainwashed that "thin" is where life happens.

• If we don't actively dismantle the myths that have been embedded into women's psyche around weight historically, those myths will linger, regardless of how many plus-sixed models they see on billboards.

• What are YOU making "fat" mean?  Are you making fat mean that you'll never find a suitable partner?  That you're unworthy of the respect of your peers?  That you'll never "make it" professionally?  That no one will take you seriously?  CHALLENGE THAT.

Now I more than anyone am clearly a proponent of loving your body, in good times and in bad. But I also know that we as women place pressure on ourselves to achieve a certain physical standard even in the best of times.  I myself am sitting here writing this half-trying to remember how many meters I got in at the pool this week- I want to look good when I meet my sister's college friends for the first time come spring break.  

Even when I see pictures of beautiful women who are near my size, I find myself thinking, "she looks great, but I'm not shaped like that," or "I'd need to lose a few pounds to pull that off" or some other self-deprecating remark along those lines.  You guys know what I mean.  I know you know what I mean because I'm pretty sure this is a near-universal issue for at least most first-world women, even though we are more and more surrounded by pictures of "real" women as the love-your-body campaign progresses.

I think what Ms. Duke, who also writes a blog on self-acceptance, is getting at is that no amount of reading inspiring quotes about how wonderful you are in your own skin is going to shift the notions that you've developed over the past decade or more about what being "worthy" means, and for almost all of us, being worthy of love and respect and admiration at least in part revolves around our physical being.

Don't get me wrong, you guys know how much I value a healthy lifestyle, but what you feed your body and what you feed your soul are two totally distinct, and equally important, aspects of your own personal well-being and, as such, require much different considerations.

What do I mean by that?  I mean that the stigma you yourself attach to your body is more powerful than any magazine ad could ever be.  It may be that media influence initially helped to shape your notions of what being "deserving" means, but it is now your own personal responsibility to allow yourself to let go of all the things you've attached to your self-image.  You WILL marry that handsome gentleman you've always dreamed of and you WILL land that amazing job and you WILL rock that super cute bikini you've been eyeing for months!  Don't let your jean size get in the way of the things you've worked hard for and the things that you've earned in the body you're sitting in right now.  

I understand that that's a pretty big task to undertake, but it's my belief that the first step, and perhaps the single most important step, in beginning down a path towards self-acceptance is taking the time to become conscious of the beliefs you hold about yourself and your body, and what that means in terms of what you feel you deserve in your life.  So when you're having that moment when you realize summer is on its way and New Year's resolutions kind of suck, try to keep in mind that while it is of course necessary and important to appreciate your body for all the amazing things it does, "loving your body" has little to do with your body itself; "loving your body" comes from realizing that your body, whether you love it or hate it, is not the be-all and end-all of your own being.  You are beautiful for so many reasons, and your body is just a single piece of the puzzle.

Enjoy the slice!

xo Sonja