Fat ain't that bad.

Alright y'all.  Here's the lowdown for the week.  Some days, no matter how hard you try to stay positive, remind yourself you're beautiful and treat yourself with compassion, you're just going to feel fat.  Unfortunately it's one of those facts of life that seems to be unavoidable as a woman in the 21st century.

But instead of wallowing in hatred of your little tummy pooch or just-too-jiggly arms, how about a little reminder from one of my favorite women that fat is not the end of the world?

Take a peek...

 

How about that ladies and gents?  I want to talk about this for a moment because I think it's important in the journey towards self-love that you have something to cling to during a setback.  Sure, when I'm feeling down on myself, do I try to brighten things back up?  Of course!  But does it always work?  No.  Some days it's just not going to happen. Some days life just throws you a bad mood that you're going to have to ride out.  But do you have to do it without a little help from your friends?  Nope!

One of the things that helps me through these "moods" (and I call them moods because it's not like you're any fatter than you were yesterday when you were feeling fine), is reminding myself that even if I have somehow magically become fat overnight, it's really not the end of the world.  Because at the end of the day, even if you really are little chunky, there are so many things that are worse than being fat.  As Ms. Rowling so aptly addresses, would you really rather be skinny and superficial?  Skinny and bitter?  Skinny and bland?  In this moment, you might be thinking, "Yes, I actually would, so why don't you just leave me alone and let me wallow in my obesity?!"  Because we both know that's not true!  We both know that once you get past that shitty mood you're in right now, you are one seriously incredible woman with so much more going for you than your pant size alone. 

One of the worst things about humans is that we're so quick to judge each other, especially us girls.  We will judge virtually anybody based on a little extra thigh or some overhanging back fat.  But one of our biggest flaws is also one of our greatest attributes, in a sense, because if we're judging each other on being fat, that means that we can also judge each other (and ourselves) on other things as well.  Do you have a killer sense of style?  One point for you.  Do you help others without being asked?  That's another one.  Are you really great at the things you set your mind to? You're up to three!  Got a bright shining future ahead of you?  Four for you, Glen Coco!

When you're playing the "I'm so fat the world is going to end" game with yourself, take a moment to remember that you are so, SO much more than your weight or your measurements or anything else you've decided to physically judge yourself on.  Of course it's okay to have a bad day.  Of course it's okay to just let yourself feel bad for a little bit.  But while you're feeling bad, just take a moment to remind yourself that this mood is going to pass, and even if those fat feelings remain for a while, you are still just as amazing as you were before these feelings hit.  If you're willing to put aside your body issues for just a second and recognize the one thousand positive things that make you a beautiful, strong and incredible human being, I promise you that other people will start doing the same. #

Radical self acceptance.

Today I was researching the self-love movement, and one of the things that kept coming up was the notion of "radical self acceptance." I think the name of this movement in itself speaks a lot toward the state of women's affairs in the world today: how is it that we have gotten to a point at which accepting yourself and learning to love your own body is somehow "radical"?

I'll tell you how.  By openly loving your body, you're telling the rest of the world that you're happy with it.  And the rest of the world is thinking, "how can she be happy with her body when it's so far from perfect?  How can she love something that needs so much work?" That's your fear anyway, isn't it?

In a world where we constantly strive for the newer and the better, we're afraid to accept the bodies we have now because doing so somehow feels like we've stopped moving forward.  It feels like if we love our bodies now, we're giving up on any progress in the future.  But that's just not the case.

Body love and self-acceptance means loving and accepting your body at this exact moment in time, regardless of how close to or far away from your goals you are.  It means realizing that there is always going to be room for improvement, and because of that, if we keep waiting for the "perfect form," it may never come.  It means realizing that life isn't about the destination, it's about the journey.  And it means realizing that it's high time you give yourself a break and let yourself off the hook for once.


I found this print today and it really inspired me:

The battle towards self-acceptance is a long and hard one, and it is one fought on a road littered with the ghosts of years of belittling yourself and your body in the past.  Breaking this addiction is not something you can successfully do with a half-way approach.  If you really want to learn to love yourself, it's all or nothing.  You either try your hardest every day until it's real, or you don't make any progress at all.

Every day will be a challenge, and every day you're going to have to face this journey with courage.  But perhaps the most incredible thing about this journey is that in the end, the race is only against yourself. Keep banishing negative thoughts, keep redirecting that energy into positive ones, and each day you're a little closer to a self-acceptance that is going to feel better than any Victoria's Secret body would ever feel. #

Perfect girl?

As many of you know, I've been off the map recently in preparation for a big move to Hawaii at the beginning of next month!

However, I saw something today that has me back on the bandwagon fighting for self-acceptance!

Here's what magazines are preaching these days:

I would like to draw your attention to the second line.  It reads (en francais): the perfect woman should have "not an ounce of fat."

Not an ounce.

I'm so glad this French fashion magazine set me straight, because I was mistakenly under the impression that women are supposed to have MULTIPLE ounces of fat, namely for the sake of reproducing in the name of our species.  However, I'm all for eliminating fat specifically for the purpose of eliminating the generations of chauvinistic pigs who continue to teach our daughters that, heavens forbid, an ounce of fat means you are no longer a worthy woman.

I'm going to put this one to all you ladies out there and let you think about, for yourselves, why that "archetype of the perfect woman" above is so much more worthy of our love, admiration, and respect, than this one:

Or this one:

 Or this one:

Or the most important woman of all: yourself.  The next time you open a fashion magazine and see "the perfect woman" staring back at you, stop and think for a moment: what does this woman have to offer that you don't?

The answer may come as a surprise: it's "nothing."

Keep a little bit of this sanity in mind when you enter the world of fake, photoshopped, airbrushed "perfection." #