tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52771709559611887002024-03-05T16:36:38.662-08:00War and Pieces of PieAn attempt to end body hatred, one slice at a time.Sonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5277170955961188700.post-19654223049118841342014-02-27T20:25:00.001-08:002014-02-27T20:36:26.002-08:00I already have a bikini body.Hey lovelies!<br />
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Today we're going to talk about exercise. Now before you start feeling all guilty on me, don't worry- this isn't one of these "you better get your butt in shape before spring break" posts. You guys know me better than that. In fact, it's almost the opposite.<br />
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My relationship with exercise has changed a lot over the years. In fact, I would almost say I've come full circle; five years ago, I would work out until I made myself sick just to burn those few extra calories. I thought that injuries were a sign of dedication, not one of obsession. The summer I decided to do a triathlon, I ended up with an injured body and a strained mind.That's why, when I woke up with the flu the morning of my first marathon, after running over 500 training miles in the past year, the real feat was allowing myself to pull out of the race when I started feeling bad at mile 4. <br />
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Since then, I've realized that the best kind of exercise is the one that works for your soul as well as your body. I've been spending a lot of time recently trying to figure out what I enjoy doing and what I can see myself doing for the rest of my life, not just in the period of time leading up to a big race. For me that's hiking (incorporating my love of being out in nature), swimming laps (so meditative!), and yoga.<br />
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As a broke college student, I'm not one to spend a lot of money on a gym membership or fitness classes. That's why I've been teaching myself yoga and practicing in my own home. So last night, I was on the hunt for new yoga sequences to try, and one of the first hits from a quick Google search lead me to a <i>Women's Health Magazine</i> article on doing yoga at home... Perfect!<br />
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What wasn't so perfect? The pop-up ad that appeared in the middle of my reading the article.<br />
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I took a screenshot:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOBDVPfdTW0-GuxKttOS8Ss3I2ZNPvHbw-3uuzLOR6yJi8yLD8OLzeCWXglvUQpO3qbznya-u2N05GavL9tbUgHHnbZF5v5YpMgcNZxzKi1cs6LLpE40fe-AegjOIP4E2_FyetLz7_xS4/s1600/Blog.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOBDVPfdTW0-GuxKttOS8Ss3I2ZNPvHbw-3uuzLOR6yJi8yLD8OLzeCWXglvUQpO3qbznya-u2N05GavL9tbUgHHnbZF5v5YpMgcNZxzKi1cs6LLpE40fe-AegjOIP4E2_FyetLz7_xS4/s1600/Blog.png" height="412" width="640" /></a></div>
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Notice anything bad? Like really bad?<br />
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How about the fact that to close this ad and get back to whatever you were reading, you literally have to click a link that says "<u><b>No thanks, I already have a bikini body</b></u>"... For shame, <i>Women's Health</i>.<br />
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Now I know bikini bodies are always a major focus this time of year: spring break is upon us, summer is on the horizon, and by now most of us have given up at least partially on our annual resolution to score that dream body once and for all.<br />
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But that doesn't mean that we should revert to all-out body shaming! Seeing this made me feel that what I'm doing for the good of my body and my soul simply isn't good enough. I found myself sitting there thinking, "maybe instead of doing a yoga practice I should be heading out for a run. I'd burn more calories and maybe I'd look thinner for that event I have on Saturday night." It didn't matter that this is the first time in my life I've really felt like I'm finding some inner peace through my workouts instead of even more objectification, or the first time I can feel my injuries healing instead of getting worse. That all seemed irrelevant when I looked at that model's body at the edge of the ad and realized there's no way I'm going to look anywhere near that in my spring break pictures.<br />
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And that's exactly where the problem lies: this ad leads you to believe that the only reasonable excuse you could have for not signing up for their plan is because you're already perfect. And because they know <i>you know</i> you're not "perfect," whatever you've decided that word means to you, they're running a successful marketing campaign based off of that fact. And that's a pretty low blow.<br />
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I sat looking at this ad for a while last night, puzzling over it as well as my feelings about it, and here's what I came up with: I think it's time we stop buying into this kind of marketing. It's time we stood up for ourselves and our right to feel comfortable, even sexy, in our own skin, in the body we have right now. It's time we clicked the "No thanks, we already have a bikini body" button because, you know what, we do!<br />
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And to prove how much I really believe this, here's mine:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZJkpE1R4mK0zDmwki8r34LxN1RuqrPK7zMWJR82Z0HFoT5CKAfyHqk6vnQziLHOT9PuIKH4-hHBMFhUc7JbUd6gJXBMTVTSHEJZPlJ561G-dZzJSI14K-2AgDBYDpyZXOqU8YW_ql7zY/s1600/IMG_2799.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZJkpE1R4mK0zDmwki8r34LxN1RuqrPK7zMWJR82Z0HFoT5CKAfyHqk6vnQziLHOT9PuIKH4-hHBMFhUc7JbUd6gJXBMTVTSHEJZPlJ561G-dZzJSI14K-2AgDBYDpyZXOqU8YW_ql7zY/s1600/IMG_2799.jpg" height="400" width="265" /></a></div>
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It took me a long time to come to terms with this picture. It was taken on a diving trip during a spring break island-hop to Maui, and I had spent nearly 3 months counting calories and running religiously so I would look great on this trip. I'm even wearing a brand new Victoria's Secret bikini I bought to reward my hard work as well as to make me feel extra confident. So when I asked a tourist to capture the moment and I stood there sucking in my stomach so I would look even better, I was expecting this picture to be pretty fabulous.<br />
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And by "expecting this picture to be pretty fabulous," I mean I was expecting that I would look really skinny. I was expecting to see a magazine-ready photo that I could plaster all over social media to show my friends what a glamorous life I was living, flaunting my amazing body all over the Hawaiian islands. I wanted something that would make my high school friends comment that I was "looking really good these days," something that would make my exes realize that they really <u>had</u> lost the break-up game.<br />
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And what I got was this. A picture of me in a bikini on a boat. A picture that didn't magically change my perspective on my body or lead me to drop all of my insecurities like I had hoped it might. In all honesty, it may have made me feel even more critical! Why? Because of the value I placed on it. <br />
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I can basically promise you that no matter how much you insist on looking to your body to validate your self-worth and put all of your insecurities to rest, you're always going to end up disappointed. Self-acceptance comes from your heart, not from what you see when you look in the mirror. So this bikini season, let's give up the whole charade. It's high time you realized that the body you're sitting in is pretty okay. In fact, it's more than okay. It's beautiful, it's real, and it's yours. Come spring break, go rock that bikini you just had to have without shame, without regret, knowing that you may not look like a model, but you'll look happy, and that's just so much more beautiful.<br />
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Enjoy the slice,<br />
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xo Sonja<br />
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P.S. Just in case you need a little extra inspiration, check out this little diddy from country music up-and-comer Kacey Musgraves. It had me smiling ear to ear!<br />
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Sonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5277170955961188700.post-88605263450258663622014-02-20T21:10:00.000-08:002014-02-20T21:13:45.557-08:00Getting back to work.Hello old friends and welcome to War and Pieces of Pie, 2014!<br />
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One of the things I notice when I take breaks from writing this blog is that I start to slip back into the old habits of body-shaming we all have: lingering a bit too long in front of the mirror, weighing and measuring yourself obsessively, fixating on "quick fixes" instead of on a healthy lifestyle, etc. Loving your body takes a lot of practice, and when you get out of practice, it becomes a lot harder to incorporate in your daily routine.<br />
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So long story short, I'm back. Again. Better than ever, as always.<br />
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I've been meaning to start blogging again for a few weeks now, but I was waiting for the right opportunity to arise... so when I came across an <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/isabel-foxen-duke/why-love-your-body-campaigns-arent-working_b_3605184.html" target="_blank">article</a> called "Why 'Love Your Body' Campaigns Aren't Working," you can imagine I was intrigued. Now before you get yourself all riled up (my initial reaction!), check out a few of my favorite highlights from Isabel Foxen Duke's article:<br />
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<ul>
<li>Like an unfortunately large percentage of women in the U.S., I grew up criticizing my body and dieting regularly from a young age. I spent years of my life terrified I would never get "there," the place where my weight and all perceived rewards of thinness would finally fall into place. </li>
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<li>I remember seeing body-positive campaigns like Dove's Real Beauty or Victoria's Secret's Love Your Body -- campaigns that encourage women to "love the skin they're in" -- and thinking, "that's nice, but I still wish I was thinner." </li>
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<ul>
<li> While changing the figures and images in the media is an important and wonderful first step (particularly for building new beliefs in younger generations), it may fall on deaf ears amongst those who have already been brainwashed that "thin" is where life happens.</li>
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<ul>
<li>If we don't actively dismantle the myths that have been embedded into women's psyche around weight historically, those myths will linger, regardless of how many plus-sixed models they see on billboards.</li>
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<li><span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"></span>What are YOU making "fat" mean? Are you making fat mean that you'll never find a suitable partner? That you're unworthy of the respect of your peers? That you'll never "make it" professionally? That no one will take you seriously? CHALLENGE THAT.</li>
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Now I more than anyone am clearly a proponent of loving your body, in good times and in bad. But I also know that we as women place pressure on ourselves to achieve a certain physical standard even in the best of times. I myself am sitting here writing this half-trying to remember how many meters I got in at the pool this week- I want to look good when I meet my sister's college friends for the first time come spring break. </div>
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Even when I see pictures of beautiful women who are near my size, I find myself thinking, "she looks great, but I'm not shaped like that," or "I'd need to lose a few pounds to pull that off" or some other self-deprecating remark along those lines. You guys know what I mean. I know you know what I mean because I'm pretty sure this is a near-universal issue for at least most first-world women, even though we are more and more surrounded by pictures of "real" women as the love-your-body campaign progresses.</div>
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I think what Ms. Duke, who also writes a <a href="http://isabelfoxenduke.com/" target="_blank">blog</a> on self-acceptance, is getting at is that no amount of reading inspiring quotes about how wonderful you are in your own skin is going to shift the notions that you've developed over the past decade or more about what being "worthy" means, and for almost all of us, being worthy of love and respect and admiration at least in part revolves around our physical being.</div>
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Don't get me wrong, you guys know how much I value a healthy lifestyle, but what you feed your body and what you feed your soul are two totally distinct, and equally important, aspects of your own personal well-being and, as such, require much different considerations.<br />
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What do I mean by that? I mean that the stigma you yourself attach to your body is more powerful than any magazine ad could ever be. It may be that media influence initially helped to shape your notions of what being "deserving" means, but it is now your own personal responsibility to allow yourself to let go of all the things you've attached to your self-image. You WILL marry that handsome gentleman you've always dreamed of and you WILL land that amazing job and you WILL rock that super cute bikini you've been eyeing for months! Don't let your jean size get in the way of the things you've worked hard for and the things that you've earned in the body you're sitting in right now. </div>
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I understand that that's a pretty big task to undertake, but it's my belief that the first step, and perhaps the single most important step, in beginning down a path towards self-acceptance is taking the time to become conscious of the beliefs you hold about yourself and your body, and what that means in terms of what you feel you deserve in your life. So when you're having that moment when you realize summer is on its way and New Year's resolutions kind of suck, try to keep in mind that while it is of course necessary and important to appreciate your body for all the amazing things it does, "loving your body" has little to do with your body itself; "loving your body" comes from realizing that your body, whether you love it or hate it, is not the be-all and end-all of your own being. You are beautiful for so many reasons, and your body is just a single piece of the puzzle.</div>
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Enjoy the slice!</div>
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xo Sonja</div>
Sonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5277170955961188700.post-21201848633822940452013-12-31T17:12:00.001-08:002013-12-31T17:12:44.717-08:00New year's resolutions.Hey beautifuls and happy holidays!<br />
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I'm sorry I missed you guys last week. We ended up having a last-minute family day together to celebrate Christmas Eve... I find that sometimes you just need to get away from it all and reload!<br />
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With that being said, Happy New Year's Eve!! Let me just preface this post with the fact that I am known to be a bit of a fuddy-duddy about this holiday. I love watching the ball drop as much as the next girl but what I don't love is the ridiculous New Year's resolutions everyone feels obligated to make, and I'll tell you why. <br />
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The tradition of making these resolutions is based in using an obvious time-marker as a moment to consciously put our best foot forward for the coming year. Nice, right? Right.<br />
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But what I often see as a result of this is my friends and family making resolutions based on the inherent feeling that they need to <u>change</u> something about themselves, that they somehow aren't enough the way they are at this very moment and they need to make an effort now so that they can reach that ever-transient "enough" in the future. <br />
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As far as the women in my life are concerned, most often these resolutions revolve around the physical changes we want to make to our bodies in order to be thinner or hotter or whatever, and that really gets me. Most of you guys know what I preach by now: you are beautiful and amazing and wonderful exactly the way you are, and you certainly don't need to change anything to be worthy of all the love and happiness in the world. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for self-improvement, but that improvement should be based on what's going to genuinely make you happier and healthier, not what will be more acceptable to your friends or what will lure in the hottest guys or what will make you more attractive to our society.<br />
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Take it from someone who has made this mistake one too many times:<br />
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I used to spend each New Year's Eve stuffing my face with the idea that come January 1st, my resolution to "finally lose the weight for good" would take effect and this time it would really stick. The first time I made that resolution was in 4th grade. Each year was the same pattern: I would stick with a diet/exercise plan for a few weeks, gradually get bored and be back to my usual ways without much to show for it.<br />
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However, when I made the same resolution at the beginning of 2010, the second half of my freshman year at college, it really stuck. I stopped eating almost entirely, subsisting on the one cup of miso soup I would allow myself each day. I started skipping classes to go to Bikram hot yoga, a welcome relief as I was freezing all the time. I stopped going out with my friends so they wouldn't see how strained my relationships had become; instead, I would go to the gym and spend 3 hours on the StairMaster, watching myself in the mirror and calling myself fat, telling myself that this was the punishment for a lifetime of overeating. And, not surprisingly, I lost 20 pounds. And it felt amazing and I could wear whatever I wanted and everyone told me how great I looked and all my guy friends were suddenly interested in me.<br />
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But what they couldn't see was that it wasn't actually amazing, that underneath that new, thin front, I was suffering. I was hungry and cold and sad and scared and even though I had this amazing new body, I didn't have the soul to fill it up anymore.<br />
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It took me years to recover from that New Year's resolution. Since then, I have discovered that the best resolutions you can make are those that will feed your mind, body and soul as one. I know it sounds a little earth-child of me, but really, if you're going to spend a <u>whole year</u> focusing on some major goal, shouldn't it be one that is going to add joy and happiness to your life instead of one that will force you to give up the things you love?<br />
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Now keep in mind, I'm all for self-improvement. I'm constantly looking for little tweaks to make my life a happier and overall healthier one. But in the same vein, realize that many of the body-based New Year's resolutions we make don't actually make us healthier <u>or</u> happier. Often they just make us miserable!<br />
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So how about this New Year, we try something different? Instead of making that same stale resolution to lose five pounds or tone your butt or whatever it is you freak out about, how about you focus instead on what will lead to not only a healthier body but a happier one?<br />
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Instead of resolving to "exercise more," make time for active recreation that makes you happy and that you can look forward to. There's no need to hit the gym when you can go for a hike, walk your dog on the beach, kayak at the lake, take a salsa class with that sexy man in your life, or even play tag with your nieces and nephews! Forget that "eat less" resolution, but work on nourishing your body by learning how to cook healthy, homemade meals, hitting the local farmer's market as a weekly date night or kicking some of those processed foods to the curb.<br />
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See what I mean? Resolutions can be at once a lot more fun and a lot more beneficial to your body and your soul if you take the time to consider what will make you genuinely happier and healthier not just for 2014 but for the rest of your life.<br />
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With that, I am off to enjoy tonight's obligatory glass of champagne and some homemade tamales (guilt-free!) before we embark on another beautiful year of growth and self-discovery. Happy new year and I'll see you in 2014.<br />
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That's the slice!<br />
<br />SonjaSonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5277170955961188700.post-44378016372939393032013-12-17T11:04:00.003-08:002013-12-17T11:04:22.026-08:00A little bit of inspiration.Hello beautifuls.<br />
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Today's blog is a bit of a cop-out on my part due to the fact that the phylogeny of vertebrate evolution is a lot more difficult to memorize than I thought it would be...<br />
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BUT never fear! Instead of writing an article, I decided to post a few of my favorite quotes about loving and accepting yourself and your body, quotes that I go back to when I'm having a hard time doing the same thing myself. I definitely think they'll speak to you, hopefully they'll inspire you, and just maybe you'll have one of those awesome "aha!" moments that so many of these have brought to me.<br />
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One of my favorite things about quotes, really good quotes, is that you can hang onto them. I keep a list of the ones that inspire me most on my phone so that I always have them with me for those moments I need a little push in the right direction. I truly believe that the attitude you have approaching problems big and small determines 99% of your success, and so when I just can't seem to put a smile on, sometimes I can find solace in these. Hopefully you can do the same! <br />
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So check it out! I find it most productive to read one of them, pause, and really consider it. I know that sounds so 6th grade ("don't forget to pause and think about what you've just read!"), but it really does help get the message across. Here are 8 of my favorite quotes about loving and accepting yourself just as you are:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4EXT02sxIbd2yHWgwCDwaqJD6HjmyvMEiiElA4Rj8crnbPMDgpcOujEVbXkMPf5FPjT04VWGouTp0BzZWG6am4afVBNwRSoN3dYp_RygG0QGI17YTo5BUkEfUd7YqFe_O1NIVqOz8VcU/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-12-17+at+8.45.07+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4EXT02sxIbd2yHWgwCDwaqJD6HjmyvMEiiElA4Rj8crnbPMDgpcOujEVbXkMPf5FPjT04VWGouTp0BzZWG6am4afVBNwRSoN3dYp_RygG0QGI17YTo5BUkEfUd7YqFe_O1NIVqOz8VcU/s400/Screen+shot+2013-12-17+at+8.45.07+AM.png" width="307" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2VpFi-gnt82KLiWZxphiUV4JrJygfS-rkYCShnP37YuWFD8_osIX0bGkjI7_dCvVrbTyN7oUHGVDENZ5HUWqQUR4mPL9CUGyoidmpE3lDiOFO4stt32lBf2G56LC2xa7X5t3waLZ2gc8/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-12-17+at+8.44.11+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2VpFi-gnt82KLiWZxphiUV4JrJygfS-rkYCShnP37YuWFD8_osIX0bGkjI7_dCvVrbTyN7oUHGVDENZ5HUWqQUR4mPL9CUGyoidmpE3lDiOFO4stt32lBf2G56LC2xa7X5t3waLZ2gc8/s400/Screen+shot+2013-12-17+at+8.44.11+AM.png" width="300" /></a></div>
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There you have it! If you don't have time to go through and think on them right now, no worries. Maybe you can find a few minutes over the upcoming holiday to really meditate on a few of your favorites and see where that takes you!<br />
<br />
If, on the other hand, you need a little something extra to get you through the holidays (which are unfortunately sometimes filled with the innane opinions of family and old friends about who you should be and how you should get there and why whatever you're doing right now is somehow wrong), I also maintain a Pinterest board where I pin tons of quotes and pictures that I find inspiring and encouraging. Check that out here: "<a href="http://www.pinterest.com/sojogoesrah/one-size-does-not-fit-all/" target="_blank">One Size Does Not Fit All</a>".<br />
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More than anything, just remember that, even if certain others don't recognize how amazing you are, even if you can't see it in yourself yet, you truly are beautiful and wonderful and inspiring, just the way you are. And once <u>you</u> realize that, nobody can take it away from you.<br />
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One more for the road, party rockers:<br />
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And that's the slice!<br />
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Enjoy,<br />
<br />
SonjaSonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5277170955961188700.post-34008206267532924652013-12-10T17:30:00.002-08:002013-12-10T17:31:01.216-08:00VS Fashion Show (Round Two)Alright, ladies, today's the day, the day when millions of beautiful and amazing young women will sit themselves down in front of their TVs with a pint of Haagen Dazs and try to figure out where they went wrong, why they will never have the big breasts or the slim waist or the long, lanky legs society demands from them... Today is the day of the annual Victoria's Secret Fashion show.<br />
<br />
Before we dive in, I just want to put the disclaimer out there that
I'm not saying you can't watch the show or even that you shouldn't watch it. I love the
spectacle of the thing just as much as you do! Who doesn't want to see a
$10 million bra paraded down the runway amidst a surely even-more expensive production?<br />
<br />
What you aren't allowed to do is sit there and
wallow in your own misfortune, wishing you could look like one of those women.<br />
<br />
Why, you ask?<br />
<br />
Well, first of all, if you've been following me for a while, you'll remember that in my last post about the VS Fashion Show, I explored a professional make-up artist's take on how to pull off the VS look. (If you haven't read that post or would like a little refresher, find it here: "<a href="http://warandpiecesofpie.blogspot.com/2012/12/victorias-little-secrets.html" target="_blank">Victoria's little secrets.</a>") Spoiler alert: throw in some extensions, a fake tan and some HAC-ing and we could all look like a VS Angel.<br />
<br />
Still not convinced? I have proof (a picture's worth a thousand words, after all). I give to you, for your viewing pleasure, the transformation of a VS Angel, from untouched to photo- or runway-ready:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOzyUUloCnp54hasahxHgOntEL8M9NC8h92I9sD_iLJPvW62SryNfrOlQVYTjTYsz3P42OpN4zK3jOrQok4qqGm5-0dOgH4pGhyV98Xe2BHDTSywI9r5UzJKVe4ibgSnboNUB0Qa8qKXQ/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-12-10+at+2.48.02+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="292" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOzyUUloCnp54hasahxHgOntEL8M9NC8h92I9sD_iLJPvW62SryNfrOlQVYTjTYsz3P42OpN4zK3jOrQok4qqGm5-0dOgH4pGhyV98Xe2BHDTSywI9r5UzJKVe4ibgSnboNUB0Qa8qKXQ/s400/Screen+shot+2013-12-10+at+2.48.02+PM.png" width="400" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlKb2ZrqnEMcnocNyYCK3ZE0YZl5rzRGQtZlbgUmwGHLxVU3UFjq0j2MAqR1-DoiHJWLVP1JoYLU6y8-8U1ghNMXmkTUGvY3rtEExZzG3kaKwCEMFYFXquqmbwU7PoJl9wco9_DBKI2-4/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-12-10+at+2.47.50+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="247" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlKb2ZrqnEMcnocNyYCK3ZE0YZl5rzRGQtZlbgUmwGHLxVU3UFjq0j2MAqR1-DoiHJWLVP1JoYLU6y8-8U1ghNMXmkTUGvY3rtEExZzG3kaKwCEMFYFXquqmbwU7PoJl9wco9_DBKI2-4/s400/Screen+shot+2013-12-10+at+2.47.50+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwXzLG5-rgDJycv0aOt_GmW8HcHJKCKciD_5o6ESa9tfqosUQS4qkBArpZPzEI68RbrCQ1dMT8N4g1WlEQQyvKhaU7HklYABWJrEag8vc6FbCrMN585ww-TdYMqypLFbeKHNkTA6Ku_E8/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-12-10+at+2.48.30+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwXzLG5-rgDJycv0aOt_GmW8HcHJKCKciD_5o6ESa9tfqosUQS4qkBArpZPzEI68RbrCQ1dMT8N4g1WlEQQyvKhaU7HklYABWJrEag8vc6FbCrMN585ww-TdYMqypLFbeKHNkTA6Ku_E8/s400/Screen+shot+2013-12-10+at+2.48.30+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivhOEctxL7trguEoWFllJ6P7LtZb29pHAdEZFCWDmVGzNH8y_tx6NKi1UT3cCLfL4uM5JnMk79C3RdUbJhqdwrEVfB3Q0mgA1jBpRBgVDDTruQIq-KK-xCb5eV7pURGBHjdv8YY_xSbNk/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-12-10+at+2.48.40+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivhOEctxL7trguEoWFllJ6P7LtZb29pHAdEZFCWDmVGzNH8y_tx6NKi1UT3cCLfL4uM5JnMk79C3RdUbJhqdwrEVfB3Q0mgA1jBpRBgVDDTruQIq-KK-xCb5eV7pURGBHjdv8YY_xSbNk/s400/Screen+shot+2013-12-10+at+2.48.40+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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I'm not the best at recognizing faces, but I'm being honest when I say that if I saw some of these women on the street in normal dress, I really don't think I'd recognize them as models. In no way am I trying to suggest they aren't beautiful, they're just normal women like you and me.<br />
<br />
Feeling a bit better? Now remember that these beauties don't just go walking around looking like they just got off the runway every day; it takes hours (sometimes even days) of intensive beauty care by industry professionals to get these women looking their best, and that's after all of the months spent with personal trainers and nutritionists.<br />
<br />
<b>Adriana Lima</b> (the brunette in the first picture) has spoken at length to the amount of work that goes into her preparation for the show, including "twice-daily workouts, drinking gallons of water (literally) every day, a high-protein diet" and a full-out, liquids-only diet leading up to the show. And that's before the hours of professional work. <b>Doutzen Kroes</b>, another Angel, further told the New York Post, "Sometimes it makes me feel guilty now that I am in this profession that
makes... girls insecure. I always say, I don't look like [that]."<br />
<br />
Just think about this for a second: looking fantastic come show-time is these women's lives. It's their <u>job</u>. They are paid millions of dollars a year to look the way they do at this show, and they don't do it on their own. If you had a personal trainer, a personal chef, and a dozen hair and make-up experts working on you day and night,, don't you think you'd look a lot closer to that ideal you're always aiming for?<br />
<br />
But you know what? That's not your life and it's not your job and it's not your responsibility, no matter how much society would like you to think so.<br />
<br />
I'm going to guess that you're a lot like me. You probably have two or three more commitments in the air than any sane woman would take on, on top of trying to balance school and a job and maybe even a relationship with a healthy lifestyle. Sound familiar? Right. So why in the name of that catrillion-dollar bra do you expect yourself to look like a model while you're doing it? Unless you're willing to spend 8+ hours a day making this your one and only goal, you shouldn't.<br />
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And you know what else? You are brilliant and amazing and wonderful at what YOU do, and that is plenty. So go, watch the show, but keep in mind that you are just as worthy and just as wonderful as those Angels, and as long as you're doing your best in your own life, that is more than enough.<br />
<br />
Enjoy the slice,<br />
<br />
SonjaSonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5277170955961188700.post-46749360304841172302013-12-03T17:42:00.000-08:002013-12-03T17:42:00.378-08:00Transformation tuesday!Hey y'all! (I spent Thanksgiving with an amazing Southern family and I'm feelin' the vibe.)<br />
<br />
You guys know how much I love internet phenomena, so it should come as no surprise that today I'm drawing from yet another picture that's making its rounds in the online community this week. What's a bit different than usual is that it's actually something positive!<br />
<br />
You know those before-and-after photos you see in essentially every weight-loss commercial/ad/etc. known to man? Yeah, me too. You know how they make you feel like you're some great, unfinished work and if you could just lose that weight that drives you crazy, you could be as happy as those "after" picture people? Yeah, ME TOO.<br />
<br />
So you can only imagine how much it brightened my day when I found this gem from fitness blogger Mel V.:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUBx_iRfr2lNbuzZt248_MIWN-1Iqqo_GBF4x1EvD5V90zKwuDFug9a0jm5tx5iBZqn4A0WlgTimXMKSoHtlcDfErj3c5u_OT6eYEYwWYdQRIugbu9eMTVgFu_njuLLX_-p4N88JZ77xk/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-12-03+at+2.27.27+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="376" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUBx_iRfr2lNbuzZt248_MIWN-1Iqqo_GBF4x1EvD5V90zKwuDFug9a0jm5tx5iBZqn4A0WlgTimXMKSoHtlcDfErj3c5u_OT6eYEYwWYdQRIugbu9eMTVgFu_njuLLX_-p4N88JZ77xk/s640/Screen+shot+2013-12-03+at+2.27.27+PM.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
(Sorry about the awkward sizing, I'm still figuring out the blogging world!) <br />
<br />
Here's the full caption that she posted with this photo:<br />
<br />
<i>"Check out my transformation! It took me 15 minutes. Wanna know my secret? Well firstly I ditched the phonewallet (fwallet) cause that thing is lame, swapped my bather bottoms to black (cause they're a size bigger and black is slimming), Smothered on some fake tan, clipped in my hair extensions, stood up a bit taller, sucked in my guts, popped my hip- threw in a skinny arm, stood a bit wider #boxgap, pulled my shoulders back and added a bit of cheeky/Im so proud of my results smile. Zoomed in on the before pic- zoomed out on the after & a filter. Cos' filters make everything awesome. What's my point? Don't be deceived by what you see in magazines & on Instagram.. You never see the dozens of other pics they took that wernt as flattering. Photoshop can make a pig look hotter than Beyonce."</i><br />
<br />
Cue round of applause! <br />
<br />
I actually went to Mel V.'s blog to check out what she's up to, and it turns out this whole "screw the transformation pictures" thing is like, a movement or something. <br />
<br />
Here's another one for all the guys out there reading along! This is Andrew Dixon, a personal trainer:<br />
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<br />
The caption on this one reads:<br />
<br />
<i>"I decided to take my own transformation photos to see what was possible with just a few easy tweaks... I was feeling particularly bloated on the day, so I asked my girlfriend to take a before shot. I then shaved my head, face and chest and prepared for the after shot, which was about an hour after I took the before shot. I did a few push ups and chin ups, tweaked my bedroom lighting, sucked in, tightened my abs and BOOM! We got our after shot. As you can see, I'm no bodybuilder, but I had enough muscle on me to catch some shadows from the all-important overhead lighting."</i><br />
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Here's another one he did where he tries to replicate "a few months of hard work and dieting" over the course of an hour:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy5dcqbS0bkpjCgtNQ57wJ8aUV9u85HNpgV6W2Pe0qZ_ANy7hy_5b3VvFKzHtWd7LaagPfZ6Io2JUt-x3_NzluMXVKglJKzwc-m3STP7nMPBmrqcdhGtEXyCELK0XmgPvZqTU0wC2_3O0/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-12-03+at+2.45.45+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy5dcqbS0bkpjCgtNQ57wJ8aUV9u85HNpgV6W2Pe0qZ_ANy7hy_5b3VvFKzHtWd7LaagPfZ6Io2JUt-x3_NzluMXVKglJKzwc-m3STP7nMPBmrqcdhGtEXyCELK0XmgPvZqTU0wC2_3O0/s640/Screen+shot+2013-12-03+at+2.45.45+PM.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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Another round of applause?<br />
<br />
Alright, enough clapping. In all seriousness, I think that seeing these is so important for us because we live in what Mr. Dixon calls "a world of manipulation, false promises and exaggeration." We all see those before-and-after photos and we wish we could be the "after"s- by Christmas or by our next birthday or by our next big date even, we could be thin, tan, beautiful, and (supposedly) so much happier. But you know what? Just like the high fashion ads I'm always ragging on, these transformations aren't real. Not even close. <br />
<br />
I'm going to quote Mr. Dixon again here because he really just gets what I'm all about:<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>"Forget about the quick transformations and focus on a life of healthy
eating, well-managed stress levels, quality sleep and plenty of
movement. Spend time with people who have similar goals and values and
take time to appreciate yourself the way you are right now. Don't beat
yourself up if you eat a cookie, just enjoy that cookie and everything
else life has to offer.</i><br />
<br />
<i>
</i><i>We all spend too much time sucking in our guts, trying to look the
way we think society thinks we should. Don't waste any more energy
trying to compete with everyone else.</i><br />
<br />
<i>
</i><i>It's all smoke and mirrors."</i><br />
<br />
Boom. If that doesn't inspire you, I don't know what will.<br />
<br />
Also, I know a lot of us are entering that high-stress period of finals that drives students crazy, so if this is you, please try to remember that your well-being is the single most important thing in your life. Take care of yourself, take care of your body and keep everything in perspective- just like a few pounds don't decide your future, neither does a test. Trust me: I've been there, I've failed that test, and I lived to tell the tale. <br />
<br />
Alright ladies and gentlemen, that's the slice!<br />
<br />
Much love, <br />
<br />
SonjaSonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5277170955961188700.post-40869774797724095312013-11-26T19:02:00.000-08:002013-11-26T19:02:22.435-08:00"I choose to be fat."An old friend from my hometown sent me a truly incredible piece of writing this past weekend from Laura Bogart, a freelance author who recently wrote an article called "I choose to be fat" (find it <a href="http://www.salon.com/2013/07/25/i_choose_to_be_fat/" target="_blank">here</a>). It's a piece in which she discusses the self-esteem issues she's dealt with for the majority of her life as a result of being overweight. If you've struggled with your weight at any point in your life, as I have, it's a wonderful read. But even if you haven't, this piece is truly empowering in that it speaks to the underlying issue most of us routinely face: never feeling like we're enough.<br /><br />
I would highly recommend you take the time to read the full article at some point, but in case you only have a few minutes right now, here are two of my favorite points:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Whenever the women around me talk about how great so-and-so looks now
that she’s joined that pricey gym or gone under the knife (even if
so-and-so is still sort of a bitch), I remember purging and popping
pills and eating three well-balanced meals a day; binging and starving
and reading “Anna Karenina” on a StairMaster. <u>But none of it left me
happier or healthier. Just hungry. </u></li>
<li>In every special episode about weight loss, tearful brides lament how
big they look in wedding photos, as if the 26-inch waist they have now
negates the husbands who’ve always loved them. Fathers choke up
remembering the day they knew they “had to make a change,” the day their
toddlers randomly called them fat, as if that observational indictment
means more than all those “I love you’s.” There’s always a former Miss
Lonelyheart, a thirtysomething virgin who — after a gastric bypass or
militant adherence to the Paleo diet — has shed half her body weight and
is finally ready for Mr. Right. <u>I’ve no doubt that they really do feel
healthier and happier, and honestly (truly) good for them. I just wish
that the entirety of their lives weren’t reduced to a single
achievement. </u></li>
</ul>
<br />
Ms. Bogart hits on something really important here, and that thing is that your body does not define you. Yes, it's where you live and it's what you carry with you through life, but the number of calories you eat or the size of your waist has nothing to do with who you are really are. I've spent years watching people judge me for my weight - cashiers asking if I'm making a "good choice" when I buy brownie mix at the market instead of some sort of cruciferous vegetable; a man laughing at me in disbelief when he overheard me talking about how I had recently completed a triathlon; a nurse retaking my vital stats twice because she couldn't believe that they were all within the "optimal" range. However, they know nothing about the groundbreaking work I've done in the animal welfare field or how much I love Christmastime or how I hope to open a bakery someday or really anything that defines who I am as a person. And even worse, I carry this constant fear that even if they knew me, really knew me, none of it would matter; all they would see is "fat."<br />
<br />
The point is this: you are so much more than your appearance. Even if you were to transform yourself and reach that body you've always dreamed of, it certainly wouldn't be the most important thing you'd do in this world. The amazing things you think about and feel and love and want to change are so much more important than any pair of jeans could ever be. So how about this Thanksgiving, instead of putting even more energy into worrying about those few pounds you're constantly trying to stave off, try instead to be thankful for the beautiful body you were given, a body that allows you to do some pretty amazing things in this world. You are not the size of your pants or the number on the scale. You are real and you are incredible in the very body you're sitting in right now, and that is enough.<br />
<br />
Oh, and have that second slice of pie if you have room. Trust me on this one, you deserve it.<br />
<br />
Enjoy the slice,<br />
<br />
SonjaSonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5277170955961188700.post-78235094867776201652013-11-19T17:05:00.000-08:002013-11-19T17:05:15.680-08:00All kinds of shapes and sizes.Today I have something really amazing and inspiring for you guys! <br />
<br />
Howard Schatz is an American ophthalmologist-turned-photographer whose recent work focuses primarily on exploring the human form. His most recent publication, a coffee-table book called "Athlete," is a collection of the world's most successful athletes in essentially every major sport imaginable. He photographs each athlete oiled up, in the same black underwear and under the same lighting, and the results are incredible.<br />
<br />
Have a look:<br />
<br />
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I'm hoping that by the time you've looked through all of these pictures you're as taken aback as I was when I first found them. What should strike you as so incredible and so inspiring about this photo series is that these athletes (every single one of them) are in top physical condition; these are world champions, gold-medal Olympians who represent the absolute ideal form for their sport, yet their bodies could not be more different.<br />
<br />
I'm hoping you've already drawn some conclusions for yourself, but let me point out the most obvious: there is no "perfect" body. You may have some concept in your head of what you "should" look like, and it probably revolves around some unattainable standard of beauty that is based in marketing campaigns and Photoshop. As Tina Fey writes in her recent <u>Bossypants</u>,<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>"Now every
girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a
classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a
Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs
of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of
Michelle Obama, and doll tits."</i><br />
<br />
And she could not be more right. Looking through these photos that represent the ultimate extremes of diversity in a healthy human form, it should become clear to you that there is no one "perfect" body. In fact, I'm sure even some of the athletes photographed, who are considered the absolute ideal for their sport, struggle with the very same body-image issues we do and the wish that they looked more like whatever Victoria's Secret Angel or Giorgio Armani underwear model currently captivates the American advertising titans at the moment. <br />
<br />
So the next time you're standing in the mirror wishing your thighs didn't touch or your lips were fuller or whatever has caught your eye today, keep in mind that the human body comes in all shapes and forms, and not only is that diversity healthy, it's beautiful. Let's reject this quest for the perfect waist once and for all and instead focus on being the best possible version of ourselves we can be, women who are healthy, happy, and proud of the amazing things we can accomplish in the body we were given.<br />
<br />
Enjoy your slice!<br />
<br />
SonjaSonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5277170955961188700.post-78535358997453243862013-11-13T00:44:00.001-08:002013-11-13T00:44:29.765-08:00Excerpt from Oprah!For this week's blog, I would like to share with you the work of another sister-in-body-love's work that my wonderful mother sent to me over the weekend and which captures the true essence of what I hope to convey to all of you. The full article, written by Amy Bloom (totally worth the read!) can be found <a href="http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Improving-Body-Image-How-to-Feel-Beautiful-Improving-Self-Esteem" target="_blank">over here</a> but I've included my favorite excerpts below... enjoy!<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">"You cannot be a healthy person, let alone hope for healthy children, if
you sigh and moan every time you encounter your own image, eat a cookie,
or see an airbrushed supermodel on a billboard. Even if it amounts to
wholesale pretending—go pretend. Walk around pretending to be a woman
who likes her body. Pretend you think your thighs are not disgusting
appurtenances but normal, flesh-covered limbs that help you get from
place to place. Likewise your not-so-taut arms and not-so-flat tummy.
Because every step toward self-love you take, and every inch of
confidence you give someone's daughter, makes the world a better place."</span><br />
<br />
"My hobby is watching people, and what I see is that even the most
Botoxed, lipo'd, lifted woman cannot conceal herself. If you hate
yourself, it shows through every cream and cure there is. Until we stop
trying to exorcise our own imperfect selves, driving out normal physical
traits as if they were signs of pathology, there will always be some
misery in the eyes that nothing can hide."<br />
<br />
Ms. Bloom touches on two critical points here: the first is that, even if you don't love your body right in this moment, even if you can't really ever imagine loving your body the way it is right in this moment, you have to <i>try</i>. I'm a huge proponent of the "fake it 'til you make it" rule; there are certainly days where I look in the mirror and can't stand what I see. But I stand there anyway and tell myself that every little flaw I pick out is actually what makes me human and what makes me woman and what makes me beautiful. And you know what? When I started playing this game with myself, it felt like a big bowl of crap. But after years (years!) of playing pretend, I'm finally starting to believe it. Use the power of persuasion to your advantage and start trying to convince yourself that you are, in fact, beautiful, however small that first step you have to take may be.<br />
<br />
The second point Ms. Bloom makes that I feel is dead-on is the reality that if you don't truly love yourself, you always know it on some level and so does the rest of the world. I've said this before and I'll say it again: the simplest, fastest and most efficient way to look better and feel better is to begin to love yourself for the woman you are right now. Because you know what? Fixing that one little thing you're always worrying about isn't going to change much. Sure, maybe you'll feel a bit more confident for a moment, but what women struggle with isn't one single issue, it's perfection. And the problem with perfection? It's unattainable. <br />
<br />
Take it from someone who knows: I was sure that if I lost the 25 pounds I needed to lose to get down to my goal weight, the heavens would open up and angels would come down singing on glittering clouds and every guy within a five-mile radius would come flocking to me for my autograph. Or something like that. You know what actually happened? I was no longer worried about my weight, but then I became worried about the musculature in my back (I know, right?). And the fact that my flat hair would not keep sex-hair volume no matter how much mousse I used and no matter how much hot air I blow-dried it with. And I also didn't like my hips or my nose or the way my thighs spread out when I sat down... the list goes on. <br />
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Whatever you can't stand right now has nothing to do with that actual thing, it has to do with the fear of never being enough. So instead of going through life trying to fix each flaw you find one by one, how about we start learning to accept ourselves for who we are, right here and right now, regardless of what the future might hold for us. I promise you, starting down this road and taking this journey is not going to be an easy one; in fact, it will be full of tough days and tougher nights. But it will also be one of the most rewarding things you could ever do for yourself, or any of the other beautiful women you care about. This journey is going to be one of the hardest of your life, and it's going to be worth the effort a thousand times over, especially when you can become a role model to our mothers, our sisters, our girlfriends, and most importantly, our daughters.Sonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5277170955961188700.post-15003095216554881272013-11-05T20:39:00.002-08:002013-11-05T20:40:07.425-08:00Photoshop madness!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Hey y'all!</div>
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As most of you know, I've written a lot of posts on photoshop in the past, namely because I feel it's essentially the scourge of modern society and the empowerment of women in general. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and so this week I have something that should be worth a million: a video!!</div>
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This video has been making the rounds on social media, but in case you haven't seen it yet, here it is! </div>
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You guys know I love talking about "real" women, and this is a perfect example! First of all, the amount of change we are now able to digitally accomplish is ridiculous. But what's even more amazing to me in watching this video is the fact that by the time you reach the end of the video, you have lost any grasp on the reality of what this woman actually looks like! The woman at the beginning of this clip is someone you can identify with: she's normal. She's someone you might see on the street, she's someone you can imagine yourself having coffee with. The end product, however (and note the use of the word <u>product</u>), is entirely superficial. The image produced is fake; it's a creation of computer imaging, and the danger in this retouching is the fact that ad companies allow you to believe the woman they've created is somehow real. </div>
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This leaves women feeling that there's no way they can possibly live up to the standards of this real-life Barbie. Importantly, they can't; she's a figment of the imaginations of social branding specialists and in no way does she represent reality or any sort of attainable ideal. And neither does any other picture you'll find in advertising!</div>
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So! The take-away message is as such: never should you ever compare yourself to any kind of advertising, commercial publication, or the like. Those representations of women are not real. Not even the women used in the construction of these ads look anything like the final product! So stop flipping through Cosmo wishing for smooth, cellulite-free legs or a gap between your thighs. You are real (and you are <u>beautiful</u>) and that is more than a computer image can ever be!</div>
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Enjoy your slice!</div>
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Sonja</div>
Sonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5277170955961188700.post-42665781053261191672013-10-29T21:55:00.001-07:002013-10-29T21:55:21.723-07:00What normal women look like.Yesterday I had a bit of a rough day. It's midterms week in my neck of the woods and I'm struggling. Not enough sleep combined with stress eating too much Halloween candy had me feeling less than my best. But I had to go to school and I had to mail a package and I had to buy cat food, so I threw on an old pair of jean shorts, a baggy tee, blew off make up and walked out the door. And then I spent the day feeling pretty shitty about myself. I was convinced I looked awful and that everyone else thought so too, and I let it ruin my day. Until I got home that is, accidentally caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and realized I had spent the whole day with a negative attitude for nothing. I looked fine! Granted, it's not the best I've ever left the house but it certainly wasn't the worst (read: the swine flu epidemic of 2009).<br />
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So today, I've brought you proof of what I experienced first hand yesterday, and what I'm sure you've all experienced countless times... that even when you don't look your best, you still look fine! And how have I brought proof of that, you ask? Celebrities without makeup! <br />
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I love pictures of celebrities without makeup. Why? Not because I like judging other women, no. I love them because they prove once and for all that celebrities are real people too! Some days they look fabulous and sometimes they look like they could use a latte and a couple hours of sleep. That is, they're just like us!<br />
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So, for your viewing pleasure, I present.. <br />
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Jennifer Lawrence, one of the most beautiful and genuine actresses in Hollywood: <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcVKurAr545USao-QUbymYzK-CtG9siDknDfOiLvAKU3skpCpqkze9oMjWmw07Ay2zeK3aWw7pne4qWVdP7fgM9LG_NYMOIO7WE_9IGUyL28fycUsAC2IxN03CwjEKYTL7Hz3WUdQfIb4/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-29+at+3.19.05+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcVKurAr545USao-QUbymYzK-CtG9siDknDfOiLvAKU3skpCpqkze9oMjWmw07Ay2zeK3aWw7pne4qWVdP7fgM9LG_NYMOIO7WE_9IGUyL28fycUsAC2IxN03CwjEKYTL7Hz3WUdQfIb4/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-29+at+3.19.05+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Tyra Banks, a Victoria's Secret model and the heir to the America's Next Top Model throne:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqr4-s2J-GgTjBeKvVvgDtXfe3DoKdIwStmXX6GzXUo0b3_AgXqk6gv-qdx2nTL5VUIBb6avwQCX_Bl5CE4p1Dfh_-WCI2xxlWZjRldBZvxscLJFFIXHPJLTGtoiALxxKoKXGq4lqVvwc/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-29+at+3.19.48+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="251" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqr4-s2J-GgTjBeKvVvgDtXfe3DoKdIwStmXX6GzXUo0b3_AgXqk6gv-qdx2nTL5VUIBb6avwQCX_Bl5CE4p1Dfh_-WCI2xxlWZjRldBZvxscLJFFIXHPJLTGtoiALxxKoKXGq4lqVvwc/s320/Screen+shot+2013-10-29+at+3.19.48+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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Hilary Duff, the girl I wanted to be for at least half of my childhood (who could resist the promise of becoming an Italian pop princess?):<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3w-fn2CEOjGBsRXGVEgmHBkQoqCPp2QRn9eTYP-H803rCKP8W_tMj93ahe4KrUC82Jt41s6bd1on6GOeNHYJqh01tOLPIYmqv2KpkOmHTYOdZIhsVUpALHwzsYPseZhtaxsQJ62BXfNc/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-29+at+3.20.16+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3w-fn2CEOjGBsRXGVEgmHBkQoqCPp2QRn9eTYP-H803rCKP8W_tMj93ahe4KrUC82Jt41s6bd1on6GOeNHYJqh01tOLPIYmqv2KpkOmHTYOdZIhsVUpALHwzsYPseZhtaxsQJ62BXfNc/s320/Screen+shot+2013-10-29+at+3.20.16+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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Mila Kunis, who was Esquire's 2013 "Sexiest Woman Alive":<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8QQb-jo6MpSE6SHW9HebAcWLG65-ISmqt6FeMy6xLKJT3khiIjti8k4UbnAY1iYc3ZV4b-wgiBFZh4rITLViYXM_7VG7zcSQ8A01P9GR_Sv1K7lalltaDCXGVfcU_kI_WGL33r_jL2VA/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-29+at+3.21.03+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="281" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8QQb-jo6MpSE6SHW9HebAcWLG65-ISmqt6FeMy6xLKJT3khiIjti8k4UbnAY1iYc3ZV4b-wgiBFZh4rITLViYXM_7VG7zcSQ8A01P9GR_Sv1K7lalltaDCXGVfcU_kI_WGL33r_jL2VA/s320/Screen+shot+2013-10-29+at+3.21.03+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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Kelly Clarkson, the first American Idol:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhznGFuJeXCnOkoy9u5ZxXVtJIHf_7iYQH6ASRULA54ObepikFMS4l0hMZrXwt50IpNfBEPIqqhzARrnTaQCgA6yrBSTqvBk-wkFWRJcmMlQiyA7w7gshyphenhyphenG_b-Jp3OXlkkOwO-qeaupGyw/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-29+at+3.23.36+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="277" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhznGFuJeXCnOkoy9u5ZxXVtJIHf_7iYQH6ASRULA54ObepikFMS4l0hMZrXwt50IpNfBEPIqqhzARrnTaQCgA6yrBSTqvBk-wkFWRJcmMlQiyA7w7gshyphenhyphenG_b-Jp3OXlkkOwO-qeaupGyw/s320/Screen+shot+2013-10-29+at+3.23.36+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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And lastly, Sofia Vergarra, a Columbian actress/model and a real stunner:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpB4tkKJ0AlnXpanuO-eAQrtAIzXR4TDlOrYo-E6UEmL5jV9sKDDzbsyXzOsymyqeZwa5cjTQjTK43idcuJbBGZhF0ujFg5wtxYSh7mzb-YWynwh460uE7et0O6wXHwGZq3nUci2hVEs4/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-29+at+3.23.57+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="279" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpB4tkKJ0AlnXpanuO-eAQrtAIzXR4TDlOrYo-E6UEmL5jV9sKDDzbsyXzOsymyqeZwa5cjTQjTK43idcuJbBGZhF0ujFg5wtxYSh7mzb-YWynwh460uE7et0O6wXHwGZq3nUci2hVEs4/s320/Screen+shot+2013-10-29+at+3.23.57+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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Alright ladies, what was your first reaction? That these ladies are ugly and horrible and that they never should have left the house looking like that? No, it's that they just look normal! And you know what? That's what people think of you when you're not looking your best either. (This is even more true because nobody holds you to as high a standard as we hold celebrities!).<br />
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We all have those days where we know it's just not going to happen. You're bloated, your skin broke out, you pulled an all-nighter to finish that paper... whatever the reason, you're just not feeling your best. And typically we spend the whole day feeling crappy because we think we look crappy and we think everyone else notices we look crappy. <br />
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But you know what? They don't, because to them, you look <u>normal</u>, just like every one of these beautiful women here. Sure, a pair of spanx and some contouring would probably make you look more runway-ready, but on the day to day, nobody is noticing the condition of your yoga pants or your skin. So stop spending so much time worrying about it and just get through the day! We all have enough on our plate to worry about (school, jobs, boyfriends, the list goes on...) without adding the pressure to look amazing every day to that load! So the next time you wake up and know it's just not your day, put on your comfiest clothes, grab your favorite Starbucks drink and let yourself off the hook. You are beautiful, just like you were yesterday and just like you will be tomorrow, and the only thing that can change that is <u>your</u> attitude. That's the whole point of this blog, isn't it? Change your attitude, change your life.<br />
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Oh, and treat yourself to a little Halloween candy this week! Trust me on this one, a few pieces of chocolate are not going to change a thing.Sonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5277170955961188700.post-18873487296723254442013-10-22T22:52:00.001-07:002013-10-22T22:52:21.244-07:00Back with a vengence.Alright, I'm going to be straight with you guys: I went off the radar for far too long. I let spring semester get the best of me, and then I figured I'd take the summer off, and then I started in on my core zoology courses and then I got a job and then I started looking at grad schools... long story short, there are a million excuses but I'm back! For real. But I'm making a few changes.<br />
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Weekly posts (now on Tuesday nights) are still a go! However, 2,000 word diatribes on the ins and outs of body acceptance in Western society, not so much. I don't have time to write them, you don't have time to read them, enough said. So instead, I will be blogging once a week and trying to keep it short and simple while hopefully still providing tons of inspiration and food for thought.<br />
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Okay! Let's dive in.<br />
<br />On the agenda for today is something that has taken the internet, and many impressionable young girls, by storm the past few months, and that is "fitspo"- images of supposedly "healthy" women with inspiring quotes that are supposed to motivate you to get "healthy" too.<br />
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They look something like this:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAw5o8wqMRbO2I6DphbFG6nwJxIluyVuq8tJ0Ybh_HFYMFpea4eXepIr_ptqUuKGk8f7KdKIvnt8OJg6tfYDzFTFS20G2zk_eQXTMy2thaAudn1xOk7vdfZiLKCD0zrE6zlAgWvyq3JtQ/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-22+at+7.29.16+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAw5o8wqMRbO2I6DphbFG6nwJxIluyVuq8tJ0Ybh_HFYMFpea4eXepIr_ptqUuKGk8f7KdKIvnt8OJg6tfYDzFTFS20G2zk_eQXTMy2thaAudn1xOk7vdfZiLKCD0zrE6zlAgWvyq3JtQ/s320/Screen+shot+2013-10-22+at+7.29.16+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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Or this...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-HoTm76Tsbf-_uEwSM4qi5rEm8FyVu44EWeTCVZU4cxwJEGMuxVDjORPwTu9nJ9WIoMt2mtLHsCpiN5jJ1I-SfhUbY41wFvEWei7IZUxWjhbc6094_vfMPS0esidvYZopJnEaEwLPT9k/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-22+at+7.29.03+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-HoTm76Tsbf-_uEwSM4qi5rEm8FyVu44EWeTCVZU4cxwJEGMuxVDjORPwTu9nJ9WIoMt2mtLHsCpiN5jJ1I-SfhUbY41wFvEWei7IZUxWjhbc6094_vfMPS0esidvYZopJnEaEwLPT9k/s320/Screen+shot+2013-10-22+at+7.29.03+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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And they get me real riled up. But I usually just brush them off and figure we've all gone through that early teenage phase of trying to starve ourselves and we eventually realize bags of chips are delicious and you're never going to get that thigh gap back anyway, so why worry about it?<br />
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And then I saw this one:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvkg7KJ7j0r93Myg8bH7Kni07pXpbB_zszOs0RqXQsV9VPjUquu-OZwt_5JOJQZyfdPqpCWyFmBWeNjF_t4bq9aR3gVbDpK3AKaH2xne_Lk8j_OOZwX375-rulodzZzcDlUtYK_SriuF4/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-22+at+7.27.39+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvkg7KJ7j0r93Myg8bH7Kni07pXpbB_zszOs0RqXQsV9VPjUquu-OZwt_5JOJQZyfdPqpCWyFmBWeNjF_t4bq9aR3gVbDpK3AKaH2xne_Lk8j_OOZwX375-rulodzZzcDlUtYK_SriuF4/s320/Screen+shot+2013-10-22+at+7.27.39+PM.png" width="283" /></a></div>
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This image has been circulating through social media for about a week now, and every time I see it I find myself just getting more and more frustrated, namely because I had hoped that by the time we reach motherhood ourselves, we will have given up on the vanity of focusing so much of our time and energy on self-appearance, as well as the self-deprecation that comes along with it ("What's your excuse?").<br />
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But then, lo and behold, a sister in body solidarity posted this beauty in response:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyTDKEIwA3iCZ7GjSNbUZwkt85ZXCJAXPm1PcNeQLFuQF94Vz3ZO32mAeGJbocplNf0EFdEXHSQlSBnFzuk2xYkE3RzovJDheNETg2stjbBQWuFVgN4L26_QgLcQfI_PrdPF-ct-U2j08/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-22+at+7.28.18+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyTDKEIwA3iCZ7GjSNbUZwkt85ZXCJAXPm1PcNeQLFuQF94Vz3ZO32mAeGJbocplNf0EFdEXHSQlSBnFzuk2xYkE3RzovJDheNETg2stjbBQWuFVgN4L26_QgLcQfI_PrdPF-ct-U2j08/s320/Screen+shot+2013-10-22+at+7.28.18+PM.png" width="281" /></a></div>
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All I can say is glory, glory, hallelujah. First of all, can I just give some mad props to the wonderful husband undoubtedly who took this picture? You go, man.<br />
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Second, since when is raising three children an "excuse" for not being a size 2? Honestly, somebody clue me in here. Because I thought that once you went through the transformative process of becoming a mother, you got let off the hook a little bit. When we were learning about reproduction in 6th grade, they seem to have left out the part where if you don't have a rock-hard fitness-model body within a year of having a baby, you're officially a failure. I mean, you just created life for God's sake, I'm pretty sure you're allowed to indulge in a little ice cream! (Not to mention all those late nights staying up with the baby... forget the freshman 15, I'm talking about that first-year 15!)<br />
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More importantly though, I'm being honest when I say I think that second mom, the woman who's okay with having a little extra skin after giving birth to those three beautiful little munchkin faces, looks pretty darn happy with herself and her life. And you know what ladies (and gents)? It's okay to be happy with your less than perfect body. Who decides what perfection looks like anyway? There are a lot more important things in this world than the size of your waist. And while she may be carrying a few extra pounds of baby weight, I would say that that second mom, our inspiration for the week, has a heart that's way big enough to make up for it. So how about you let yourself off the hook a bit and realize that your body is far from the be-all and end-all of who you are? There are a lot more important qualities you should be defining yourself by that are much more indicative of the kind of person you are than the number on the scale.Sonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5277170955961188700.post-49102738703987815702013-02-19T20:23:00.002-08:002013-02-19T20:23:56.654-08:006 ways to tell your girl to lose some weight, and other musings.Hello my gorgeous ladies and gents! I'm back! <br />
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As many of you may have noticed, I've been absent from the blog-sphere for far too long! I was planning on just taking the semester off as I struggle to pass my required physics course (yuck!), but, as usual, I've stumbled across something that hit such a bad note with me, I just had to write about it!<br />
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And what is that "bad note," you might ask? Just a little article on AskMen.com, a website dedicated to giving all the dudes out there some guidance on how to "become a better man." Trust me, you're going to laugh when you see what kind of advice they're doling out.<br />
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The article in question is titled: <b>"6 Ways to Tell Your Girl to Lose Some Weight"</b>.<br />
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Are you offended yet? Maybe you're sitting there thinking (like I was), "alright, this sounds bad, but maybe there's a perfectly reasonable explanation. After all, it's not necessarily immoral for a boyfriend to be invested in his woman's health." Or something along those lines.<br />
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Well guess again, ladies! While Mr. Chris Lumsdon, the author of this masterpiece, has omitted any explicit reason as to why you would <u>want</u> your girlfriend to lose weight, the fact that many of his suggestions revolve around simply shaming your beloved into realizing she looks gross leads me to believe he has a little more than mere health concerns at heart.<br />
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By now you're probably wondering, what <i>are</i> these ways in which I should: ruin any sense of trust my girlfriend has placed in me/ set myself up for a gnarly kick to the groin/ tell my girlfriend she's getting fat? Well, dear readers, here they are: {In case you don't believe this, <a href="http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_100/144b_dating_advice.html" target="_blank">here's</a> the original.} <br />
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<i>1.</i> Tell her her favorite outfit looks bad on her. If she doesn't look good in her "go-to getup," she'll realize she doesn't look good in anything! From there you can relax and "watch her forever skip the nachos and cheese."<br />
<i>2. </i>Tell her YOU feel fat. "She'll become fat-obsessed by osmosis." (I'm not even making this up.)<br />
<i>3.</i> Pick one of her not-so-skinny friends and announce that because she's fat, she's ugly. "She'll be thinking that if you find her bookworm buddy hefty, perhaps a diet should be on her docket." <br />
<i>4.</i> Announce you have a hot new female trainer at the gym. She'll be so jealous she'll go the gym with you every time you go "just to keep an eye on you."<br />
<i>5. </i>Buy her a piece of clothing that is obviously too small, and subtly announce that the sales clerk said it's only meant for "smaller women... she'll work morning, noon and night to fit into that cursed thing."<br />
<i>6. </i> Tell her you want to lose weight together. This suggestion was the most reasonable of the bunch, until Mr. Lumsdon added that your girlfriend will be so overwhelmed to see that you're invested in her health (by worrying about the couple of pounds she gained over the holidays) that she'll go out of her way to spoil you and treat you and show you she's invested in you, too... I don't know about you ladies, but if my boyfriend told me I was looking a little "flabby," tickets to his favorite sports team would be the LAST thing he'd be getting!<br />
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I want to say I don't even have words for how I feel about this list, but the fact is, I have far too many! I could go on for days about how misogynistic, backward-thinking and offensive this is, but I'm going to try to keep it short: no man (or woman) in your life should ever, <i>ever</i> feel it's okay to shame you for the way you look, regardless of your weight, your shape, or any other aspect of your body. Women have been fat and skinny and short and tall and curvy and straight and everything in between for hundreds of years. Just because the media has decided that the way your body looks it "out" right now does <u>not</u> mean that it's "wrong." <br />
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Beauty has been coming in all forms before you, and it will continue to come in all forms long after you're gone. You are a beautiful woman exactly the way you are, and you should never give anybody the right to tell you any differently. It may be a cliche but it's true: never let anybody steal your happiness, and never let anybody dull your sparkle. You are wonderful and beautiful and amazing and incredible, and if someone around you doesn't see that, it's their loss. Even if you agree that you would like to make some changes to your body or your appearance, that's your choice to make. It should not be influenced by magazines or Victoria's Secret or, heaven forbid, a shitty dick-head boyfriend who happens to think you would look more do-able with a flatter stomach. It is your right to stop worrying about your extra little jiggles here and there, learn to love your body and learn to love the way it lets you enjoy life! And you should never let anybody ever convince you of anything different.<br />
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P.S.: There is an awesome bright side I forgot to mention: of the 500 men who read this article online and chose to participate in a poll, more than 50% of them voted that the "tips" the author doles out make them either "sad" or "furious." Further, only 13% claimed it helped make them a "better man." So just take heart that, for every total jerk out there who is judging you by the size of your jeans, there's a whole other guy who is digging your self-acceptance, and would never ask you to change! Now <i>that</i> sounds like the world I want to live in!Sonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5277170955961188700.post-64798535073484831822012-12-12T19:41:00.000-08:002012-12-13T14:22:28.206-08:00Stop telling your friends you're fat.We all have that friend. The one who is constantly talking about her diet, her workouts, her appearance. The one whose body issues are never far away. And while you may think that indulging her a little and letting her vent about her recent lack of gym motivation or finals-induced chub is healthy, it turns out you're wrong: not only is it bad for her, it's bad for you too. Really bad.<br />
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A recent study from Mount Alison University in Canada has discovered that the single most significant factor in a woman's body image, moreso even than her actual weight or body shape, is how her friends feel about their own bodies.<br />
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Let that just sink in for a moment. Then, to give yourself an idea of how true this is on a personal level, just think about how often body issues come up in your conversations. Now imagine that nobody ever discussed their weight, their latest diet, or their gym routine. You wouldn't have nearly as much to compare yourself to, and if you read this blog regularly, you should know by now that comparing yourself to others leads to a multitude of body-acceptance sins. I think Theodore Roosevelt said it best:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4bUmY9cNtbRFwT8qtQCaYb03ZEeyl7SfkV7i8yepu1HtsfuuFpKul3lXWR7B-tnN6DSGZHToF3RK5NSRRK2TodeF4QZuKvl_cPEPAGJJGNkDp79WMN-ZdXxyRFfurIEQNw2Q1a1zPT4I/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-12+at+5.29.57+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4bUmY9cNtbRFwT8qtQCaYb03ZEeyl7SfkV7i8yepu1HtsfuuFpKul3lXWR7B-tnN6DSGZHToF3RK5NSRRK2TodeF4QZuKvl_cPEPAGJJGNkDp79WMN-ZdXxyRFfurIEQNw2Q1a1zPT4I/s400/Screen+shot+2012-12-12+at+5.29.57+PM.png" width="327" /></a></div>
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This is actually surprisingly good news! Let me just break this down for you: you know how you've always thought that if you were just a little bit skinnier or a little bit taller or a little bit more this or a little less that, the world would somehow magically become a better place and flowers would bloom wherever you walked and birds would land on your shoulder and sing to you on the way to work?!<br />
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It turns out it's a lot easier to get there than you thought! All you need to do is purge the negative body energy from your life and you're on your way! (Cue songbirds.)<br />
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In all honesty, we girls know that on some level those kinds of conversations can't be good for us... but it's just so much easier to feel like a fattie if your best girlfriend is feeling the same way too, right? Unfortunately, it turns out that by entertaining those kinds of feelings, you're hurting both yourself and your closest friends. And nobody wants that!<br />
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The incredibly positive side to this new research is that it also that proves you yourself can be a major source of body-accepting inspiration to your best friends! All you need to do is display the kind of self-loving attitude that this blog is all about whenever any body-negative talk comes up. You don't even have to feel it 100% genuinely- just putting out that kind of presence and energy will make a world of difference.<br />
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Try this: the next time your galpal goes in for the kill on her new love handles or the fact that she hasn't hit the gym in over a week, interject with something along the lines of, "well I think you look beautiful exactly the way you are right now." <br />
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Or take a page from the book of one of my favorite modern feminists, the one and only Ellen Degeneres:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhStF4tc_yBNueET1hAzcp7RBp92_Ywc0J2gJ6boOUxLqRIkEwqNCq7jLci5paPcbQJfdhMGJKsSbH6azLiTN2r5sRIyiXcdnJ3l30e1uAECT7pWnsudjQEswmjfQ8_VFQGvmd7Af14jc/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-12+at+5.32.43+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="316" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhStF4tc_yBNueET1hAzcp7RBp92_Ywc0J2gJ6boOUxLqRIkEwqNCq7jLci5paPcbQJfdhMGJKsSbH6azLiTN2r5sRIyiXcdnJ3l30e1uAECT7pWnsudjQEswmjfQ8_VFQGvmd7Af14jc/s400/Screen+shot+2012-12-12+at+5.32.43+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Simple, direct, and oh so true! It will most likely stop your friend in her tracks, and even if she doesn't respond in the moment, I promise it will sit with her and sink in later on.<br />
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So there you have it ladies! Not only is there a way to start feeling better about your body and yourself immediately and without hardly any effort, there is also an easy way to help inspire your girlfriends to join you on the pursuit to self-acceptance! Now take what this blog has taught you, go out there and spread some body-positive love! Namaste.Sonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5277170955961188700.post-11597721373867413442012-12-06T23:32:00.004-08:002012-12-06T23:32:55.902-08:00Victoria's little secrets.As many of you know, this past Tuesday was the annual Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, something I definitely do not partake in, and I can tell you exactly why: in the hours after the VS Fashion Show, I saw my social media accounts blow up with something along the lines of the following updates, which I pulled directly, word-for-word, from Twitter:<br />
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<li>"Victoria's Secret Fashion Show is Tuesday, bye bye self esteem."</li>
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<li>"Time for Victoria's Secret Fashion show. Also known as me crying and wishing I looked like them all."</li>
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<li>"Just shed an actual tear while watching the VS Fashion show." </li>
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<li>"If I had a boyfriend and he was watching the VS Fashion Show, I wouldn't show my face for a week until he forgot what the Angels look like." </li>
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<li>"Watching the VS Fashion show and hating myself."</li>
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<li>"If the VS Fashion Show doesn't make you want to work out, I don't know what will." </li>
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<li>"Post- Victoria's Secret Fashion Show depression." </li>
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<li>"Well that didn't last long... My post-VS Fashion Show diet couldn't survive finals season."</li>
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And my personal favorite, from a dude: <b>"If you're a girl out there watching the VS Fashion Show and thinking you're not pretty enough, I have one thing to say to you... you're right."</b><br />
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Alright ladies. Enough is enough. First of all, I don't think I need to tell you again that the women you see on the VS Fashion Show are paid millions of dollars to look the way they do. They spend their entire day in the gym with personal trainers, and they come home to professional chefs who monitor them down to every last calorie. I can guarantee you that, beyond a doubt, if you had that kind of treatment you would look close to how they do.<br />
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Why close? I'm glad you asked!<br />
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I recently stumbled upon a blog that a professional make-up artist writes, and with the upcoming show she detailed what goes into looking like a Victoria's Secret Angel. Think they just roll out of bed looking toned, tanned and fabulous? Think again.<br />
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Here's the before:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvxuM-PIAyHm45oxLv1VWMDytfLSCUVrmKkiBJujLXa-RGnnFk6HuE79WRP3aEPyAu_F1476CqMUN5aYCmH_23SLSSS_EyZc2S0TyhWQgfpf6eZ-sldQ_7pXg9Ly0lMrn6DY1YUuoq3jw/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-06+at+8.41.04+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvxuM-PIAyHm45oxLv1VWMDytfLSCUVrmKkiBJujLXa-RGnnFk6HuE79WRP3aEPyAu_F1476CqMUN5aYCmH_23SLSSS_EyZc2S0TyhWQgfpf6eZ-sldQ_7pXg9Ly0lMrn6DY1YUuoq3jw/s320/Screen+shot+2012-12-06+at+8.41.04+PM.png" width="318" /> </a></div>
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Now I'm not going to go through the step-by-step process of her transformation, because that isn't really what I support with this blog, but I <i>will</i> give you a little insight into what goes into making a Victoria's Secret Angel, so you have some perspective.</div>
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First, tons (TONS!) of fake hair:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSZQa8qAJS6-JZgng5XD_Z67f2PYjqwmre81XdTvGY5mri2u5QSG3f8OYC7YW0bnkavmepXt4lLDVknx0wszKbRRdItmswSRt0MZLKv4UeDfXY4FAJULGZSgWerUGzD-fbSNVDlUrkFNA/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-06+at+8.45.51+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="175" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSZQa8qAJS6-JZgng5XD_Z67f2PYjqwmre81XdTvGY5mri2u5QSG3f8OYC7YW0bnkavmepXt4lLDVknx0wszKbRRdItmswSRt0MZLKv4UeDfXY4FAJULGZSgWerUGzD-fbSNVDlUrkFNA/s320/Screen+shot+2012-12-06+at+8.45.51+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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Second, all-over body make-up that tans and tones... This particular make-up artist claims it can reduce the appearance of your body by 20 pounds.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwYBR-7LIixqwbQGlr8-mEl08_RbXqtTmmWEpKjPtvEiFHapGteXsSEbDW1kUuUFynJX0GMfMV5W21ZQ0lp3WAyEnbzv75a5gzyspJE2E709rQlPL7FuSVMq5KBGYrynXKlL-fK_KtcoM/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-06+at+8.46.17+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwYBR-7LIixqwbQGlr8-mEl08_RbXqtTmmWEpKjPtvEiFHapGteXsSEbDW1kUuUFynJX0GMfMV5W21ZQ0lp3WAyEnbzv75a5gzyspJE2E709rQlPL7FuSVMq5KBGYrynXKlL-fK_KtcoM/s320/Screen+shot+2012-12-06+at+8.46.17+PM.png" width="184" /></a></div>
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And, of course, an incredibly complicated hair and make-up process including professional techniques meant to highlight and contour, ie. slim your non-supermodel features and dramatize the more desirable ones. (Apparently this model's nose is completely crooked and "seriously needed to be fixed.")</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHnoRzpr_qpnM8a028VSVoRdZDQrHp9ShuEhmXj57Nlx5-7l1-QIODiplDRZGBYBuA7ovRTHBbiFeFmBp2sbYslipeNjHc49A0XAICRKC8f2qnIADHedzVCILji2B_58KhFSy4gOFOtVs/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-06+at+8.48.23+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHnoRzpr_qpnM8a028VSVoRdZDQrHp9ShuEhmXj57Nlx5-7l1-QIODiplDRZGBYBuA7ovRTHBbiFeFmBp2sbYslipeNjHc49A0XAICRKC8f2qnIADHedzVCILji2B_58KhFSy4gOFOtVs/s320/Screen+shot+2012-12-06+at+8.48.23+PM.png" width="281" /> </a></div>
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And finally, after more than three hours of professional work, the after photo:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi52VWrlnNVp9ovUP2Hqjg5sQUNeGIQBK6poXFgnG1fl0IguHlJZvort43dHIE4LrORIxdT5IZ00iR1YjL7cl0VmavyIBTBuwjyraHTA5lMkx6xW-o0hVYj7MzRXDZcAJbH-7fJ_G4Z7F4/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-06+at+8.41.12+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi52VWrlnNVp9ovUP2Hqjg5sQUNeGIQBK6poXFgnG1fl0IguHlJZvort43dHIE4LrORIxdT5IZ00iR1YjL7cl0VmavyIBTBuwjyraHTA5lMkx6xW-o0hVYj7MzRXDZcAJbH-7fJ_G4Z7F4/s400/Screen+shot+2012-12-06+at+8.41.12+PM.png" width="335" /></a></div>
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Before you do anything else, scroll back up and look at the "before." The "before" girl is someone you would meet in the supermarket or the locker room at your gym, right? The "after" girl is a professional model. In case you were bemoaning the fact that the Angels in the fashion show must actually look like they do, since it's broadcast live, here's the truth: they undergo the equivalent of real-life airbrushing prior to the show.</div>
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Now I know what you're thinking: you're sitting there going, "But even if all that is true, I still weight 132,485,926 pounds more than any Victoria's Secret Angel!" But another thing you don't have any perspective on is how significantly our standards of beauty have changed in the past 20 years.</div>
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Here's the Victoria's Secret Angels of the 1990's:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAralGFwGtZlB0rJqNzO3b4mJWWGEFXtseXYpMDjZuHKc7xEvMahvD57vGCjwM3nOV3qSVibHRN6HG97BQ__HkGnhgADEgu1G6MaQsAAonHt7iFBVAMyKrjWhhG7SzOS9qgsVS4NaKk9I/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-06+at+8.08.03+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAralGFwGtZlB0rJqNzO3b4mJWWGEFXtseXYpMDjZuHKc7xEvMahvD57vGCjwM3nOV3qSVibHRN6HG97BQ__HkGnhgADEgu1G6MaQsAAonHt7iFBVAMyKrjWhhG7SzOS9qgsVS4NaKk9I/s640/Screen+shot+2012-12-06+at+8.08.03+PM.png" width="480" /></a></div>
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And here's some of the most recent girls:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNLsasmjR_E0ctGhBnsfAa0EPNCwGTy_Sa5GQQOtSQKdvVSSdlFoPVWVu1xyQLp0fLVQSYp5ohyO3k1yr0MqgOor_VxADGrDQFPPchB1QpZm-w7ln17VnYLgLwo1bt_HwKiSJwhww3gMY/s1600/Anorexic.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNLsasmjR_E0ctGhBnsfAa0EPNCwGTy_Sa5GQQOtSQKdvVSSdlFoPVWVu1xyQLp0fLVQSYp5ohyO3k1yr0MqgOor_VxADGrDQFPPchB1QpZm-w7ln17VnYLgLwo1bt_HwKiSJwhww3gMY/s640/Anorexic.png" width="452" /></a></div>
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You know that stupid game they always have in the last few pages of celebrity gossip magazines where they ask you to spot the differences between two photos? Well I can tell you one I spot: in the second picture, each girl is missing about 30 pounds. Victoria's Secret used to feature women in their 20's and 30's at healthy weights. Now, they feature eating disorder-laden teenagers. Let me tell you one thing: if you hadn't hit puberty yet and you were starving yourself, you'd have a hell of a lot better chance of looking like an Angel. Remember what you weighed in junior high?</div>
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My point is this: the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show really, genuinely <i>should not</i> be the make-it or break-it of your self-esteem for the week. Victoria's Secret has built a multi-billion dollar industry by selling you a fantasy, and nothing else. If every women looked like a VS Angel, Victoria's Secret wouldn't be making any money. </div>
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So! It's time to pull yourself up by your bootstraps my beautiful ladies. If you've got stress that needs to be used up, channel it into finals season, but please stop with this "I wish I magically looked like a supermodel" nonsense. If your body gets you up in the morning, gets you through the day, and allows you to do the things you want to do with your life, it is perfect and beautiful and amazing. It's time you started treating it as such.</div>
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P.S. Here's the kind of tweets I expect to see from all of you this time next year!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6bsoS39jeDHdWx8-UiXU1ciDtK4h1RTO_-DRfi0AzYE1FdnORmph5u1FYwpFS07lwI-Uifb113v2ve9CQI7UL6ScGyrDJ4NhXg0n304XrNlv30CqB7Veio-u_vf0928E4o4T2CEW-pa0/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-06+at+8.58.36+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="110" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6bsoS39jeDHdWx8-UiXU1ciDtK4h1RTO_-DRfi0AzYE1FdnORmph5u1FYwpFS07lwI-Uifb113v2ve9CQI7UL6ScGyrDJ4NhXg0n304XrNlv30CqB7Veio-u_vf0928E4o4T2CEW-pa0/s640/Screen+shot+2012-12-06+at+8.58.36+PM.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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Sonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5277170955961188700.post-28430444553691037872012-11-15T23:09:00.003-08:002012-11-15T23:09:35.821-08:00Holiday food fever.Well folks, it's that time of year. Halloween has passed which can only mean one thing... the holidays are here!!<br />
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The holidays are my absolute favorite time of year, for a multitude of reasons: getting in some quality time with family (a serious issue when you're a college student living away from home), exchanging gifts, the lights, the music, the feeling in the air, and, of course, the amazing food! My mom and I have been Christmas cookie fanatics for as long as I can remember. Every year we buy all the Christmas cookie magazine publications and try to bake our way through them before the big day arrives. And for as long as I can remember, I have spent the holidays stressing more than any other time of the year about my weight and my body.<br />
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For the few of you out there who have no idea what I'm talking about, breathe a deep sigh of relief. For the 98% of you who, like me, have been in a love-hate relationship with your diet for years, the holidays are just an extra source of stress, emotional and otherwise; not only is there a multitude of incredible food around that you don't usually have, you're often going to parties and other social gatherings with people you haven't seen in a while and, of course, as a chronic dieter, you're once again hoping to impress everyone with an incredible body transformation. Not by coincidence, every women's health magazine on the shelves right now has some feature or another on how to "control" yourself during the holidays. Tips range from eating before every party so you're not "tempted" by the food offered, all the way to wearing clothes that are slightly too tight so you're feeling just "tubby" enough that you're too embarrassed to eat. I don't know about you, but that does not sound like a fun party to me.<br />
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Then, on the opposite end of the spectrum, there are those of us who deal with the deliciousness of holiday food by letting ourselves go entirely, binging over and over again with the plan of simply waiting until January to deal with our food problems. There is, after all, the opportunity to resolve once again to "lose the weight once and for all" come January 1st. <br />
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Here's the deal: the holidays are supposed to be the one time of year you can get together with those you love, relax and enjoy yourselves together, and believe it or not, part of that enjoyment includes eating. Indulging in a few holiday meals with your friends and family should be a source of pleasure, not one of stress and anxiety. While there is no need to partake in the American notion that Thanksgiving is not a success unless you've eaten to the point of making yourself sick, neither is letting yourself off the hook for a few meals going to lead to any kind of dire consequences, besides perhaps a little apprehension about consciously breaking from your "diet."<br />
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I know we're all at different points in our journey towards body acceptance, but no matter where you are, try to have some compassion in your heart for yourself this holiday season. Keep in mind that the stress you're feeling over your body and your eating has nothing to do with what your body actually looks like, or how beautiful you actually are. That, and let yourself enjoy that peppermint bark, eggnog latte or second helping of stuffing without worrying about your food log or your waist. I hope that by now you're all trying to break away from the constant dieting, but if not, take the first steps this holiday season by letting yourself enjoy a few meals without worrying about calories, fat, carbs, or anything in between. The holidays are a time of celebration, so I can't imagine a better time to celebrate the fact that you are beautiful and amazing just the way you are, and no slice of pumpkin pie with extra whipped cream is going to change that. In fact, it might even make you just a little better! #Sonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5277170955961188700.post-78326427209854636552012-11-08T22:45:00.000-08:002012-11-08T22:45:52.613-08:00A picture is worth a thousand words.Today, I found definitive proof that I'm right about this whole-body-image-being-depleted-by-the-media thing! While I was surfing around looking for blog inspiration, I found a study just published by Durham University, based in the United Kingdom, which found that body preference can be radically changed simply based on the images you see of others regularly.<br />
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Let me explain. It's long been apparent to body-acceptance proponents and scientists alike that the effect of the "thin ideal" in advertising has played a substantial role in breakdown of self-image in women everywhere as well as in the creation of eating disorders. What's new about this research is that it resolves the issue of what came first: a preference for thinness among the general population, OR the mass use of thinner-than-average women in the media. Researchers enlisted 100 women to view pictures of models at various sizes. The more images of thin models the women viewed, the more they preferred thin bodies. Here's where it gets pretty revolutionary: the more images of average or even plus-sized models these women viewed, the more likely they were to accept these bodies as just as beautiful as much thinner ones. It gets better: even among women who "strongly" preferred thin bodies over any other type before the beginning of the study, by the end they were "significantly less keen" on thinner body types and some even began to prefer normal and plus-size bodies!<br />
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Here's what this means: the cultural obsession with extremely thin female figures could be drastically altered, or even eliminated altogether, if advertising began to flaunt much more "full-figured" women. According to the study above, we each see over 2,000 images a day in advertising alone. 2,000! Think about it like this: when was the last time you saw an ad that featured a women who was anything more than skinny? Can you even remember? Even if it was only a few days ago, that means that you've processed thousands of images of thin women since you saw that ONE image of someone who looks more like you. But just imagine: what if for every thin model you saw, you saw one normal-sized woman and one plus-sized woman? Do you think you'd still stand in front of the mirror and pick your body apart for all its flaws?<br />
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With that in mind, here are some photographs of absolutely stunning normal- and plus-sized models that will hopefully counteract at least a few of the super-skinny images you've seen today<span style="color: #0000ee;"><span style="color: #0000ee;"><span style="color: #0000ee;"><span style="color: black;">.<span style="color: #38761d;"> Instead of just scrolling through, take a few moments to really process each image. According to Durham University, it may be a major step (and an easy one at that!) towards self-love and body acceptance.</span></span></span></span></span><br />
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And a <span style="color: #0000ee;">bonus, just</span> because you guys are so amazing and encouraging: here's super celebrity Demi Lovato on her latest beach vacation. Pretty sexy, huh? And not a rib in sight!</div>
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Every single women featured here is 100% natural and, as far as I'm concerned, 100% gorgeous. So the next time you're beating yourself up because something is too big or too small, too chunky, lumpy, wiggly, or anywhere in between, remember that the major reason you're feeling this way is because you're bombarded with thousands of images every single day that are leading you to believe that that's true. But you know that? It's not. If advertising didn't exist and the only frame of reference you had for how women's bodies are supposed to look were the normal, everyday ones you're surrounded by, you would have realized long ago that we really do come in every shape and size imaginable. And you know what? That's okay. #</div>
Sonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5277170955961188700.post-11317244053879250892012-11-01T23:44:00.002-07:002012-11-01T23:45:06.161-07:00Don't hate, congratulate...Quick question.<br />
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Do you think Kate Upton is fat?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipKhCWaQD-4jKwa5d5VLk8ddXrBtWy9uFsYjyfBC7aRjax31FSAfb2J74BMjhth56ykTtRdtub5shVDEKGHEhIkGUUrr_QVhoGScZ5zw6FwN9zY8nyISl6RltoTVSY7pxQbLEajNcPzJ0/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-11-01+at+7.14.01+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipKhCWaQD-4jKwa5d5VLk8ddXrBtWy9uFsYjyfBC7aRjax31FSAfb2J74BMjhth56ykTtRdtub5shVDEKGHEhIkGUUrr_QVhoGScZ5zw6FwN9zY8nyISl6RltoTVSY7pxQbLEajNcPzJ0/s400/Screen+shot+2012-11-01+at+7.14.01+PM.png" width="280" /></a></div>
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If you answered yes, then you're in the wrong place. See that little red button with an X through it at the top left of your screen? Go ahead and click that right about meow.<br />
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If you're still here, then you must be of the persuasion that no, she is not indeed fat.<br />
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According to one of the web's most ruthless "pro-skinny" blogs, if you answered no, you're grievously misinformed. Here's what an anonymous writer who goes by the name of<a href="http://www.skinnygossip.com/" target="_blank"> Skinny Gossip</a> has to say about this exact picture:<br />
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<i>"Huge thighs, NO waist, big fat floppy boobs, terrible body definition – she looks like a squishy brick... lumbering down the runway like there’s a buffet at the end of it."</i><br />
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She goes on to say, <i>"is this what American women are “striving” for now? The lazy, lardy
look? Have we really gotten so fat in this country that Kate is the best
we can aim for?" </i>She later suggests that a picture of Kate eating a hamburger is "<i>canniablism</i>" because she is clearly "<i>a cow</i>."<br />
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Appaled yet?<br />
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Wait, there's more:<br />
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Here's what she has to say about this pro-body acceptance campaign... <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbUCmQyjF-Ek3R4NGkAUEvz_qCwu5U_ZujfSeQnPakfZReZ4CJmCcoudYsJFsTmAKvTERqoDeONyEY7r72nKiBMNh17kK6-vbI334UEsTRQ4z6l1ZRGNlRP__GsVNJ7AHIABxJ6lDhX0k/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-11-01+at+7.30.54+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbUCmQyjF-Ek3R4NGkAUEvz_qCwu5U_ZujfSeQnPakfZReZ4CJmCcoudYsJFsTmAKvTERqoDeONyEY7r72nKiBMNh17kK6-vbI334UEsTRQ4z6l1ZRGNlRP__GsVNJ7AHIABxJ6lDhX0k/s400/Screen+shot+2012-11-01+at+7.30.54+PM.png" width="271" /></a></div>
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<i>"I’m really glad I can’t read the number on that measuring tape. Eww… can
we say fat rolls!? Do you have any idea how much someone has to eat to
look like this?"</i><br />
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It gets worse. Not even the thinnest of thin is safe...<br />
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"Skinny Gossip" posted this picture of Emma Watson on her blog with the caption...<br />
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<i>"She is such a beautiful girl but she would look amazing if she lost
about 10-15 pounds. She is only 5’6″ so she isn’t blessed with much
height to help her look skinny. She’ll end up like Hayden Panettiere if she doesn’t watch out!"</i><br />
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Oh, and by the way, here's the exact picture of the god-awful fate "Skinny Gossip" is hoping poor Emma Watson will avoid...<br />
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Oh, the horror!<br />
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If you're like me, you should be sitting at your computer reading this in disbelief. If you're like me, you should also be furious. What this blog promotes is pure, unadulterated body-shaming at its worst, and there is simply no excuse for that. "Skinny Gossip" may just be one girl, but this kind of perpetuation of body hatred is far from isolated.<br />
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The irony of the matter is that, the girls who are spending their time maintaining these blogs, posting pictures of beautiful, strong, confident women and tearing them to pieces, are the same girls who have been taught by our own society that it is not okay to be anything but skinny. They have been taught that being fat is far and above the most horrible thing a person could be, and so out of fear, not only have they started starving themselves to prevent this from happening (Skinny Gossip brags that by following her own "starvation tips of the day," she has finally reached her goal weight of "5'7 and 100 pounds"), they have gone so far as to start shaming others for their appearance.<br />
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While I in no way condone the words of this blogger, or any girl who thinks body-shaming other women is acceptable, I feel that this blog is a symptom of the greater evil: a society that has so completely ingrained a fear of fat in us that we are willing to turn on each other, picking each other apart and preying on others' imperfections to give ourselves a little boost.<br />
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Ladies. Do you really think criticizing another girl makes you better than her? If you're following this blog, then you agree with me that our society needs a change, one that will allow us to learn how to love our bodies as a whole, instead of denigrating them until they're only a collection of flaws.<br />
Well here's some cold, hard truth coming at you: that movement not only starts with you, but with how you treat others. I don't care if you'd never actually tell your lab partner she has some gnarly cellulite goin' on. If you are thinking it, even though it isn't even about you, the <u>only</u> thing you're doing is perpetuating feelings of body shame and body hatred as a whole.<br />
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For a self-love movement to really work, it has to include not just your self, but everybody's self. And that means putting an end to the body hatred you're keeping alive not only in yourself, but also in the judgment of others. Just as you have to practice looking in the mirror and accepting yourself exactly as you are, so you need to practice letting go of the negative judgments you make about others. If you genuinely believe that every woman has the right to feel beautiful in her own skin, it has got to start with you, and not just realizing that you yourself are a beautiful, powerful and incredible woman, but that all the other lovely ladies around you are too. That is the only way we're going to achieve any unity in this movement, and that is the only way we're ever going to make any real, lasting change. #Sonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5277170955961188700.post-75987778399950270792012-10-25T21:24:00.000-07:002012-10-25T21:24:08.927-07:00You gotta fight for the right...Ladies and gentlemen, it's election season! And that can only mean one thing: political cartoons.<br />
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While this is not exactly a cartoon, I wanted to share it with you:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrSVynXcTCyYx1v0MYBsDxgj8uVjn1NMKjzSCwCksH_U0acoI21rQcMx_fbSSyvLh-Bz8DorCvR8j8kaPjb7cytqd8XYK4yunAEo12oXrZjejoccm15zUSuXZrT-jOv4Vnx3-aF4M9FsU/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-10-25+at+5.37.58+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrSVynXcTCyYx1v0MYBsDxgj8uVjn1NMKjzSCwCksH_U0acoI21rQcMx_fbSSyvLh-Bz8DorCvR8j8kaPjb7cytqd8XYK4yunAEo12oXrZjejoccm15zUSuXZrT-jOv4Vnx3-aF4M9FsU/s400/Screen+shot+2012-10-25+at+5.37.58+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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While I in no way mean to tell you who to vote for, I do believe that anything that has to do with our rights to our own bodies deserves our attention. Regardless of your political or religious beliefs, if you're reading this blog you are most likely of the opinion that we as women should be the only ones making decisions about how we see our body, how we feel about it and how we treat it.<br />
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The fact that politicians have once again become involved in our access to our own bodies is just a testament to the reality of how out of touch we as a society have become with the female body. For literally hundreds of years we've been objectified as a collective whole without any regard for the reality of the individual. What I mean by this is that we have a definitive history of viewing the female body as a single entity instead of recognizing that every single woman's body is different (and beautiful because of it).<br />
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I believe it is this generalizing of women's bodies that has led to not only the vast disconnect between women and their rights to their own bodies, as is apparent in the current debates, but also the majority of the body issues we experience on a daily basis. The way that our own society has universalized our millions and millions of unique bodies into one ideal form is what had led to a similarly universal feeling of detachment from our bodies. It is what had led to that feeling that your own body, the body you were born in, the body you will die in, the body that you are incredibly blessed to have, is somehow foreign. I'm sure that every single one of us has at some point felt trapped in their own body, as if it is simply some vessel that we are stuck in instead of something that is incredibly integral to who we are and what we can do in this world.<br />
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With that being said, it's important to keep in mind not only during the election but far beyond that you and your body are entirely unique: there is nobody like you that has ever been and nobody like you will exist again. Beyond the snowflake cliches, it really is true that your body is unlike that of any other woman around you, and that is why it doesn't do us any good to compare ourselves to anybody else. The only thing we all genuinely share is the body hatred that our society has imbued in us since we were little girls. Some of us are naturally going to look like models and some of us are naturally going to look a little bit like lumpy mashed potatoes when we're under the fluorescent lights in the dressing room (hint: it's me!), and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that! The only wrong is trying to amalgamate into one single standard of beauty and acceptance when we're all so different!!<br />
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So, what have we learned from the blog today? That we are all beautiful snowflake children of Mother Earth, and that, while we may all share the same messed up body issues that have been pushed on us since we got our first issue of Seventeen Magazine, we really are all very different. During this election season, don't let anyone push upon you the attitude that you don't have every single right to decide for yourself what you want for your body. I hope that, even by the act of reading this blog, you've made the first step in rejecting society's claim to your feelings about your body and reclaiming them for yourself.<br />
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The only way we should be generalizing the female race is through the fact that we are all struggling with the same things, and if we stand together and celebrate our differences, we can be more powerful than ever before. Welcome to the 21st century: the weather is currently sunny with a 60% chance of radical self-love and female revolution. #Sonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5277170955961188700.post-36674355572073903452012-10-18T23:41:00.001-07:002012-10-18T23:41:22.160-07:00An angel's words of wisdom.Today I want to talk about photoshopping, because it is my belief that the majority of the body issues we suffer from are those that are created and propagated by the media. However, as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words, so instead of writing about it, I'm just going to show you.<br />
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Keep in mind that, while these photos are clearly photoshopped, most of them are still of models and celebrities who are paid six-figure incomes every year to maintain the way they look. The fact that they're really a size 8 instead of a size 14 is a result of this.<br />
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Let's start with a basic swimsuit model, and let's also play that game, "can you spot the difference?" This woman, while beautiful, has a normal body. She doesn't have a particularly flat stomach or toned thighs and she's certainly rocking some curves on her hips. According to the fashion industry though, she's nowhere near good enough. Her breasts have been enhanced, stomach flattened, hips/arms/thighs slimmed, and she's been smoothed and tanned all over.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLBPa_qmAnHkc3Bi8Q5m6BIOm2eyRjCgJDkcQoXUz7nuwvEWpplwU1u7zN7UbW7CIvXNeRTus-CcO1MjWzHA5EiuRz6sQkLORUPBN06j87ilSGCEh_zkGHmoqB1dWgTCO88EkpidQO6rk/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-10-18+at+8.05.20+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLBPa_qmAnHkc3Bi8Q5m6BIOm2eyRjCgJDkcQoXUz7nuwvEWpplwU1u7zN7UbW7CIvXNeRTus-CcO1MjWzHA5EiuRz6sQkLORUPBN06j87ilSGCEh_zkGHmoqB1dWgTCO88EkpidQO6rk/s400/Screen+shot+2012-10-18+at+8.05.20+PM.png" width="357" /></a></div>
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Here's one of fashion's most beautiful plus-size models, Tara Lynn. Just in case us curvy girls don't struggle with our figure enough, let's take an amazing role model and shave off forty pounds. Oh, and also, we're still going to list this as "plus sized." Are your body issues starting to make sense yet?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfMBTWyisVKZ0XZH9qn5wf5Ni_-SipzTLpUIpFIKqf4kTZtfuBSOKVgulIk_ZbpczrkW6TblE3mFvYByWT7wKZL7zIF45QTMTR8kr-W8zhHG4pzqNPATtReHs5ehJ57E_fr0s0Niw3nuE/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-10-18+at+8.11.27+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="401" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfMBTWyisVKZ0XZH9qn5wf5Ni_-SipzTLpUIpFIKqf4kTZtfuBSOKVgulIk_ZbpczrkW6TblE3mFvYByWT7wKZL7zIF45QTMTR8kr-W8zhHG4pzqNPATtReHs5ehJ57E_fr0s0Niw3nuE/s640/Screen+shot+2012-10-18+at+8.11.27+PM.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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Here's another plus-size photo that's been drastically edited. Next time you're hating on your back fat, keep in mind that one of the highest-paid models in the industry to date sports it like a champ.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibTCdn64zKD8Wzf4izvNMLjKmRkti_HsH4YoRyf4SJu_Gxwl4TZ3JOe6-oL5jI3XBcuwyIBk67CL_kROsfjFtjRHq1JFx2Qac1FFIDqLexQodKK3c7kbeViHJq60NTSTOX4eoivyQmG-I/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-10-18+at+8.03.58+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="401" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibTCdn64zKD8Wzf4izvNMLjKmRkti_HsH4YoRyf4SJu_Gxwl4TZ3JOe6-oL5jI3XBcuwyIBk67CL_kROsfjFtjRHq1JFx2Qac1FFIDqLexQodKK3c7kbeViHJq60NTSTOX4eoivyQmG-I/s640/Screen+shot+2012-10-18+at+8.03.58+PM.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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Let's switch over to celebrities for a moment. Take Mariah Carey for example: for 42 I think she's looking pretty damn good, but apparently I'm wrong. In this photo for Glamour, her body structure has been completely overhauled and everything has been smoothed out into that perfect, cellulite-free glean that no number of hours in the gym is going to get you. Why, you ask? Because it's fake.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCI9rTIQZDS5OPV-P96WRrFzwX58KmviRvcFPlh0wgiVjifNDQuRskUZhKMBSy5xNxm93rBJEBs9Yitte-W2JmTETuWkniNTIz06xglK10op0T3jkzihoqbBkwEr8uWNV6DcBbnQNGpNU/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-10-18+at+8.05.32+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCI9rTIQZDS5OPV-P96WRrFzwX58KmviRvcFPlh0wgiVjifNDQuRskUZhKMBSy5xNxm93rBJEBs9Yitte-W2JmTETuWkniNTIz06xglK10op0T3jkzihoqbBkwEr8uWNV6DcBbnQNGpNU/s400/Screen+shot+2012-10-18+at+8.05.32+PM.png" width="285" /></a></div>
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You know how everybody is always raging about the fact that Madonna is in her 50's and still looks like a teenager? Surprise! She doesn't.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihBD0kZcVe-xXFJ1F1xVP6ve5ZcU6GpfjCoMjRfOdTNtqOv6RO6gBvofihrgiLLeTGR8Dji7CtgpICSA7hPME9h_uq_TAQasYledvbjD0-jZVLUD6ecBatjrGlIRRXGRjRz5Qsf7EfBEo/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-10-18+at+8.05.07+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="433" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihBD0kZcVe-xXFJ1F1xVP6ve5ZcU6GpfjCoMjRfOdTNtqOv6RO6gBvofihrgiLLeTGR8Dji7CtgpICSA7hPME9h_uq_TAQasYledvbjD0-jZVLUD6ecBatjrGlIRRXGRjRz5Qsf7EfBEo/s640/Screen+shot+2012-10-18+at+8.05.07+PM.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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If you're like me, you should be looking at this next "before" picture and wondering, "okay, what could possibly be wrong with Eva Longoria?" As it turns out, her arms and thighs are actually too skinny (wish I had that problem!), while her waist is not nearly defined enough. All that time you've spent doing crunches to get a teensy waist and squatting to get a fat booty to complement it? Yeah, they don't exist together. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhkEXUDmIQAZusdPrP9CZLYh9PDHpYgo9TYCcKEyY0e2SSXVJdHJDA7uSbjXt2xOJFhCKC96ZCzwwNbyo4uWQaaw6jD-Le18XcJSFtlGxqb-eGgJUid9pTJpjlknXPSJTLzYKP_Z2qWLg/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-10-18+at+8.05.52+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="347" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhkEXUDmIQAZusdPrP9CZLYh9PDHpYgo9TYCcKEyY0e2SSXVJdHJDA7uSbjXt2xOJFhCKC96ZCzwwNbyo4uWQaaw6jD-Le18XcJSFtlGxqb-eGgJUid9pTJpjlknXPSJTLzYKP_Z2qWLg/s640/Screen+shot+2012-10-18+at+8.05.52+PM.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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And just so none of you girls out there are left thinking "I don't even look like the before pictures!", here's one of fashion's top up-and-coming models, before and after. This should prove to you, unequivocally, once and for all, that if we all had a personal stylist and professional make up artist hitting us up every morning before we left the house, as well as someone to photoshop all of our photos after they were taken, you can bet there wouldn't be a single picture that you would want to untag yourself from.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2fyDF4nH_Ze3bhIorsRZhut2bmZkUlKvph_CnTphTqnkM3GiWSfVviDFoZOuxeEmgaDaB-5rgjchYs97BAmPSxYE7tNGVX30J3dbEjEAT_Rq48UHstqywe1R3k2M_UOfaYo2h8Pc5o4Y/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-10-18+at+8.06.22+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="275" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2fyDF4nH_Ze3bhIorsRZhut2bmZkUlKvph_CnTphTqnkM3GiWSfVviDFoZOuxeEmgaDaB-5rgjchYs97BAmPSxYE7tNGVX30J3dbEjEAT_Rq48UHstqywe1R3k2M_UOfaYo2h8Pc5o4Y/s400/Screen+shot+2012-10-18+at+8.06.22+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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One of Victoria's Secret's angels, Erin Heatherton, recently had a pre-retouching photo released from her latest bikini photoshoot, and I was actually incredibly impressed with the way she responded to it. Here's the image:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwdJ5s_xlRpKJXGGzqtC6v6QbKXqASeAwW2mFNCUwEnkANMI2xfSQfgtwmd6J4l1n3-dkqg367umsWLYNXX-FPfAEwTlnA8PKcIyviMTvZTvgAY_QKvb7bNpJUI707wcefch6ihTqICCc/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-10-18+at+8.03.43+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="482" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwdJ5s_xlRpKJXGGzqtC6v6QbKXqASeAwW2mFNCUwEnkANMI2xfSQfgtwmd6J4l1n3-dkqg367umsWLYNXX-FPfAEwTlnA8PKcIyviMTvZTvgAY_QKvb7bNpJUI707wcefch6ihTqICCc/s640/Screen+shot+2012-10-18+at+8.03.43+PM.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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And here's what she said about photoshopping:<br />
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"We're not selling reality; we're selling a story. It's all about
creating this fantasy. And I don't think people should confuse fantasy
and reality because no one is perfect—we all know that, and I think
people should embrace themselves and not really focus on where people
are depicted as perfect and where they're not."<br />
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Also, just a good thing to keep in mind: take a good long look at the before picture. That's a body that most of us would kill for and Erin, who is a Victoria's Secret Angel, is <u>still</u> self-conscious about this image, a testament to the fact that no matter what you look like, you, as a woman in our society, are still going to feel like you aren't good enough. Keep in mind that it's a feeling and not a reality, and no amount of dieting is going to fix that feeling for you. You have to acknowledge it and fix it yourself. You are perfect in your body, right now, sitting at your laptop reading this. You are beautiful and strong and powerful, and you are NOT what the media says you are.<br />
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So the next time the Victoria's Secret catalog comes and you feel like crying over the fact that there's literally no way you will ever look like that, keep in mind that there <u>isn't</u> any way you will look like that because it's not real. Advertisers photoshop because they want you to think, "if I buy that product, I will be beautiful and sexy and happy just like that woman." The fact of the matter is, you can be beautiful and sexy and happy right now. And isn't that a lot easier than having to lose a ton of weight first? #Sonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5277170955961188700.post-17888238300190004022012-10-11T19:57:00.001-07:002012-10-11T19:57:08.892-07:00Gays and fatties.Today is National Coming Out Day, a day where we are supposed to put aside our differences and honor the fact that at the base of humanity, we ultimately all have the same desires: to be accepted, to be respected, and most importantly, to be loved.<br />
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With those principle values in mind, I want to talk to you about an issue that is directly parallel to the struggles of being anything but heterosexual in a straight society: being anything but skinny in a fat-phobic society. <br />
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At this point, I hope you have come to realize that the thinness obsession in our culture is not only perpetuating hate, both of ourselves and others, but it is also completely unrealistic and senseless.<br />
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Don't believe me? This should sum it up:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzd8YxW8VwRsKR2RDhsKQhYwIVwNisjN900G-EWvCK84r-FMGciNX5m-T_6PBPnRFwDF3o7cOxbT8mpcnQr5FlHD14TkVR-NBIesd3m3xc-lEAf9C3ptfll2LoZ1Hc66jcv6pg0aMamS0/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-10-11+at+4.30.24+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzd8YxW8VwRsKR2RDhsKQhYwIVwNisjN900G-EWvCK84r-FMGciNX5m-T_6PBPnRFwDF3o7cOxbT8mpcnQr5FlHD14TkVR-NBIesd3m3xc-lEAf9C3ptfll2LoZ1Hc66jcv6pg0aMamS0/s640/Screen+shot+2012-10-11+at+4.30.24+PM.png" width="360" /></a></div>
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First of all, that model definitely works out and she most certainly does not eat everything she wants, because it is her JOB to look like that. I'm going to repeat that because I think this point is SO important. It is a model's JOB to look the way she does. She is paid huge amounts of money to spend 8 hours in the gym every day with a personal trainer and to have a nutritionist and personal chef craft the perfect meals necessary to look the way she does. And as if that's not enough, she's photoshopped by experts to remove any lasting imperfections that even an intense regime of caloric deprivation and extreme exercise couldn't get rid of.<br />
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If you lived the life of a Victoria's Secret model, I guarantee you would look like one too. And I can also guarantee that you wouldn't like it much and would eventually find that the sacrifices models make to look the way they do would not be worth the payoff of being a size 2.<br />
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Secondly, beyond that, why would you not accept that some people are built skinny and some of us are built to carry a little extra weight? Why is that so inconceivable to you? All people are not created equal, and neither are all bodies. Being skinny doesn't mean you have an eating disorder and being fat does not mean you are lazy and glutinous. I work out 7 days a week and eat incredibly healthfully, and I'm still carrying a good deal of extra weight. Why, you ask? Because I am a descendant of the line of Irishmen whose bodies survived the Potato Famine by learning to hold on to every extra calorie they could get. Does that make me a bad person? Of course not, just as it doesn't make you a bad one either.<br />
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Having a body that differs from "normal" does not mean that there is anything wrong with you. Feeling bad about being different doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you either; it means that there is something seriously wrong with our society that we are not willing to accept anyone who deviates slightly from what we are taught is the norm. The truth is, there is no normal. We are all different and no amount of fat-shaming or gay-bashing is going to change that. <br />
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Regardless of your feelings about gay rights,
if you are anything more than supermodel thin, you have experienced the
exact same feelings of hatred and exclusion that gay men and women
experience every day. It's time we put our differences aside and with that, put an end to both the body-hatred and the baseless prejudices that are hurting every single one of us, every single day, whether we know it or not. Life is hard enough as it is- instead of upholding these insane standards which we can't possibly live up to, why don't we simply our lives and try to learn compassion for both ourselves and the others around us who are struggling to be accepted just as much as we are? I don't know about you, but I would much rather work towards that goal than towards getting into a pair of Heidi Klum's jeans. #Sonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5277170955961188700.post-57384464395613980932012-10-04T21:53:00.000-07:002012-10-04T21:54:39.225-07:00A bunch of thoughts on being fat.I was first told I was "fat" by a dance instructor when I was 8. Eight years old. I was in 3rd grade. I had my own thing going and I thought I was pretty fly back in those days. The source of this fat accusation? I was 5 pounds over the normal range for my age. 5 whole pounds. Pretty much the end of the world right?<br />
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Let me tell you what happens when you tell a child they're fat. They reevaluate everything they've ever thought of themselves. At 8 years old, I was a championship Irish dancer who had won more national titles than most kids my age could count to. I was also at the top of my class, and I was invited to all the "cool" birthday parties. But that one day when my instructor decided to label me with this terrible, horrible word, everything changed. It no longer mattered that I was a great dancer, a great student, a great friend. How could you be anything great if you were FAT?<br />
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I went on my first diet when I was 9. I started going to the gym when I was 10. When I was 11, I started down the road towards my first eating disorder. I have been riding this rollercoaster ever since.<br />
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Even if you yourself haven't been the target of such hateful words directly, I'm sure you've experienced them indirectly.<br />
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Maybe you were told you're fat like this...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk-9QPT46RzMLBloKdwKWJEjgHs7vhdMYq4vDHmFo3R8Qa62AzaaNs3J0tEYRj4NnhO1JoKrPaZkaXRKxunsEyMtueg9HKmoSmnGlQJfwSwBTyJUwI3tfN-okwrwub8q9GhTkS8z0FgBk/s1600/bmi-chart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk-9QPT46RzMLBloKdwKWJEjgHs7vhdMYq4vDHmFo3R8Qa62AzaaNs3J0tEYRj4NnhO1JoKrPaZkaXRKxunsEyMtueg9HKmoSmnGlQJfwSwBTyJUwI3tfN-okwrwub8q9GhTkS8z0FgBk/s320/bmi-chart.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Or maybe it was like this...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKEknvzNwzqxcKLksadIEIdl2XmGQfxL5itWSV1m74OLuWHQDe8oJpxxEx3uxqv1y6YKTbJUSKsNzdmwe2VdWZ6FjTIQKafJVU6wfrQ6fKki-iqqrk8C4WQCBGI7PlzQog7ZSFnJ9Sj2c/s1600/thurs+2" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKEknvzNwzqxcKLksadIEIdl2XmGQfxL5itWSV1m74OLuWHQDe8oJpxxEx3uxqv1y6YKTbJUSKsNzdmwe2VdWZ6FjTIQKafJVU6wfrQ6fKki-iqqrk8C4WQCBGI7PlzQog7ZSFnJ9Sj2c/s400/thurs+2" width="400" /></a></div>
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Or even this...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6yMLxfA16KgLurem_DotcCkbJZiGSzsmRuDFWRz9AOTRD7kH4a0VqLgTSxR1ZIZNXmDCFRyZMBVWPZVE4j3ZZfQIRe7DWG9b8IrMslP5rhyRZVFR_cysQNXHjrvUc3Mszm33jYpCwoqQ/s1600/Victoria-s-Secret-Angels-victorias-secret-angels-16195655-2494-1700.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="272" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6yMLxfA16KgLurem_DotcCkbJZiGSzsmRuDFWRz9AOTRD7kH4a0VqLgTSxR1ZIZNXmDCFRyZMBVWPZVE4j3ZZfQIRe7DWG9b8IrMslP5rhyRZVFR_cysQNXHjrvUc3Mszm33jYpCwoqQ/s400/Victoria-s-Secret-Angels-victorias-secret-angels-16195655-2494-1700.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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However it happened, those feelings of physical inadequacy stuck because there was nothing that came before them that could have taken their place.<br />
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I want to share something with you guys that Kate Winslet said, that is so powerful to me. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyuvMtgvTZlQl2t98Aucn_ht7PBK-UuaJRTnj9WQxQJvF3YBZYcgaR_rp8RYaftnIulIAWuywF6qQQDrH72ZlColH8OOa5hgZ6tSaBKrtjN1Sr5pwh6hcfxLa9zmmOLz6gxPQ-QPEjjCk/s1600/katequote.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyuvMtgvTZlQl2t98Aucn_ht7PBK-UuaJRTnj9WQxQJvF3YBZYcgaR_rp8RYaftnIulIAWuywF6qQQDrH72ZlColH8OOa5hgZ6tSaBKrtjN1Sr5pwh6hcfxLa9zmmOLz6gxPQ-QPEjjCk/s400/katequote.jpg" width="208" /></a></div>
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As girls growing up, there are always certain women in our lives who we look up to, and because we admire them so much, they are by default beautiful. But they, like us, have grown up in a society where loving and accepting your body is as taboo as being fat. Because of this, we grew up watching the women we found so beautiful degrade themselves and their appearances. <br />
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While your role models surely didn't mean you any harm by not actively embracing their chubs, the damage was surely done: if the women we admire most in the world continually put themselves down, how can we possibly grow up to see ourselves as beautiful? <br />
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And if those women could have such a profound effect on you, imagine the kind of effect you're having on the women you surround yourself with. Which leads me to my major point: learning to love your body does not end with you. <br />
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Let that sink in for a second. <br />
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Loving your body and outwardly promoting this acceptance goes so far beyond yourself. It sends a message to every other woman out there who is struggling with the same things we all are. It sets an example for the women who look up to you (yes, you!), and it sets a precedent for an honorable way to treat ourselves that will eventually filter down to the next generation of women, little girls who right now have yet to learn that it isn't okay to love yourself just the way you are.<br />
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It is only by consciously rejecting the superficial standards of beauty society has defined for us that we can be free to love ourselves and teach our friends, our family, and our daughters to love themselves the way that every girl should. It's a long road ahead of us, but the good news is this: it only takes one person to start a movement, and you can be that person. Every time you put a little positivity into the world, you drop a tiny pebble into the sea of women who are still stuck feeling like they will never be good enough. And while it may seem too small to make an impact, just keep in mind that every pebble makes a ripple on the water, a ripple that will always travel far further than you ever could have expected. If we do this together, one by one, we could change the world. #Sonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5277170955961188700.post-35374756579774785162012-09-27T19:52:00.003-07:002012-09-27T19:56:35.920-07:00Fat ain't that bad.Alright y'all. Here's the lowdown for the week. Some days, no matter how hard you try to stay positive, remind yourself you're beautiful and treat yourself with compassion, you're just going to feel fat. Unfortunately it's one of those facts of life that seems to be unavoidable as a woman in the 21st century.<br />
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But instead of wallowing in hatred of your little tummy pooch or just-too-jiggly arms, how about a little reminder from one of my favorite women that fat is not the end of the world?<br />
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Take a peek...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFI9oU1J68gvvDxLxU70nAMmAJ0xYFmjHkwJpUah2lTgaaW-NscLtSWBZHm8Mcy0VxVmnWMSeB7EuSbJyW839A17QNrZltmFlk2V7Mu-1PPJsfYVVOto0N3Aknz_3j8zWS6uk0VHIPHz8/s1600/jk+rowling" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFI9oU1J68gvvDxLxU70nAMmAJ0xYFmjHkwJpUah2lTgaaW-NscLtSWBZHm8Mcy0VxVmnWMSeB7EuSbJyW839A17QNrZltmFlk2V7Mu-1PPJsfYVVOto0N3Aknz_3j8zWS6uk0VHIPHz8/s400/jk+rowling" width="400" /> </a></div>
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How about that ladies and gents? I want to talk about this for a moment because I think it's important in the journey towards self-love that you have something to cling to during a setback. Sure, when I'm feeling down on myself, do I try to brighten things back up? Of course! But does it always work? No. Some days it's just not going to happen. Some days life just throws you a bad mood that you're going to have to ride out. But do you have to do it without a little help from your friends? Nope!</div>
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One of the things that helps me through these "moods" (and I call them moods because it's not like you're any fatter than you were yesterday when you were feeling fine), is reminding myself that even if I have somehow magically become fat overnight, it's really not the end of the world. Because at the end of the day, even if you really are little chunky, there are so many things that are worse than being fat. As Ms. Rowling so aptly addresses, would you really rather be skinny and superficial? Skinny and bitter? Skinny and bland? In this moment, you might be thinking, "Yes, I actually would, so why don't you just leave me alone and let me wallow in my obesity?!" Because we both know that's not true! We both know that once you get past that shitty mood you're in right now, you are one seriously incredible woman with so much more going for you than your pant size alone. </div>
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One of the worst things about humans is that we're so quick to judge each other, especially us girls. We will judge virtually anybody based on a little extra thigh or some overhanging back fat. But one of our biggest flaws is also one of our greatest attributes, in a sense, because if we're judging each other on being fat, that means that we can also judge each other (and ourselves) on other things as well. Do you have a killer sense of style? One point for you. Do you help others without being asked? That's another one. Are you really great at the things you set your mind to? You're up to three! Got a bright shining future ahead of you? Four for you, Glen Coco!<br />
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When you're playing the "I'm so fat the world is going to end" game with yourself, take a moment to remember that you are so, SO much more than your weight or your measurements or anything else you've decided to physically judge yourself on. Of course it's okay to have a bad day. Of course it's okay to just let yourself feel bad for a little bit. But while you're feeling bad, just take a moment to remind yourself that this mood is going to pass, and even if those fat feelings remain for a while, you are still just as amazing as you were before these feelings hit. If you're willing to put aside your body issues for just a second and
recognize the one thousand positive things that make you a
beautiful, strong and incredible human being, I promise you that other
people will start doing the same. #Sonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5277170955961188700.post-38280197467289530292012-09-20T20:43:00.000-07:002012-09-27T19:56:59.248-07:00Radical self acceptance.Today I was researching the self-love movement, and one of the things that kept coming up was the notion of "radical self acceptance." I think the name of this movement in itself speaks a lot toward the state of women's affairs in the world today: how is it that we have gotten to a point at which accepting yourself and learning to love your own body is somehow "radical"?<br />
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I'll tell you how. By openly loving your body, you're telling the rest of the world that you're happy with it. And the rest of the world is thinking, "how can she be happy with her body when it's so far from perfect? How can she love something that needs so much work?" That's your fear anyway, isn't it?<br />
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In a world where we constantly strive for the newer and the better, we're afraid to accept the bodies we have now because doing so somehow feels like we've stopped moving forward. It feels like if we love our bodies now, we're giving up on any progress in the future. But that's just not the case.<br />
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Body love and self-acceptance means loving and accepting your body at this exact moment in time, regardless of how close to or far away from your goals you are. It means realizing that there is always going to be room for improvement, and because of that, if we keep waiting for the "perfect form," it may never come. It means realizing that life isn't about the destination, it's about the journey. And it means realizing that it's high time you give yourself a break and let yourself off the hook for once.<br />
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I found this print today and it really inspired me:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9EKMhu6Zv6UX3elvJDbIfX48cA36tbKp8NbIptnwsPCrUJATNScoVoeldWt2O2zziBPBNk9BHPCLrGDlkslK3pvml7O204N4aXabGeemDfXxB776sJV8Jx92v_iNgETqUFGm8uXCt-YE/s1600/blog+now" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9EKMhu6Zv6UX3elvJDbIfX48cA36tbKp8NbIptnwsPCrUJATNScoVoeldWt2O2zziBPBNk9BHPCLrGDlkslK3pvml7O204N4aXabGeemDfXxB776sJV8Jx92v_iNgETqUFGm8uXCt-YE/s400/blog+now" width="400" /></a></div>
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The battle towards self-acceptance is a long and hard one, and it is one fought on a road littered with the ghosts of years of belittling yourself and your body in the past. Breaking this addiction is not something you can successfully do with a half-way approach. If you really want to learn to love yourself, it's all or nothing. You either try your hardest every day until it's real, or you don't make any progress at all.<br />
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Every day will be a challenge, and every day you're going to have to face this journey with courage. But perhaps the most incredible thing about this journey is that in the end, the race is only against yourself. Keep banishing negative thoughts, keep redirecting that energy into positive ones, and each day you're a little closer to a self-acceptance that is going to feel better than any Victoria's Secret body would ever feel. #Sonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5277170955961188700.post-12997220363089889142012-09-20T19:39:00.000-07:002012-09-20T19:39:53.112-07:00Perfect girl?As many of you know, I've been off the map recently in preparation for a big move to Hawaii at the beginning of next month!<br />
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However, I saw something today that has me back on the bandwagon fighting for self-acceptance!<br />
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Here's what magazines are preaching these days:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb9EnJ_ZS3vgdJuNBspnfqlajPcrQuCpHX2vm9k1WN9bC1YndAkX3fibiHb4l_Ym5JebOOLRtco7D3i0Ryt0IPbq2sDGI5AhkIMjnFYJZUpegpfUzdY_J5ZuY_sSPGMxLpandcWK9JuO0/s1600/blog3" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="416" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb9EnJ_ZS3vgdJuNBspnfqlajPcrQuCpHX2vm9k1WN9bC1YndAkX3fibiHb4l_Ym5JebOOLRtco7D3i0Ryt0IPbq2sDGI5AhkIMjnFYJZUpegpfUzdY_J5ZuY_sSPGMxLpandcWK9JuO0/s640/blog3" width="640" /></a></div>
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I would like to draw your attention to the second line. It reads (en francais): the perfect woman should have "not an ounce of fat."<br />
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Not an ounce.<br />
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I'm so glad this French fashion magazine set me straight, because I was mistakenly under the impression that women are supposed to have MULTIPLE ounces of fat, namely for the sake of reproducing in the name of our species. However, I'm all for eliminating fat specifically for the purpose of eliminating the generations of chauvinistic pigs who continue to teach our daughters that, heavens forbid, an ounce of fat means you are no longer a worthy woman.<br />
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I'm going to put this one to all you ladies out there and let you think about, for yourselves, why that "archetype of the perfect woman" above is so much more worthy of our love, admiration, and respect, than this one:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu39nqksv8h5HDHgKjQWNXY_aqqUQ5pG66VELILDf0ECk0DQ6-eYnqKE5i4_amqm-y6_fofpZKJl4-BpH7w6HO2_n9I9sx_QHgh3fgImPgxfAPX-_-EKIJwgy-pTJdSrbG4hOwKgXfSDc/s1600/now2" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="432" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu39nqksv8h5HDHgKjQWNXY_aqqUQ5pG66VELILDf0ECk0DQ6-eYnqKE5i4_amqm-y6_fofpZKJl4-BpH7w6HO2_n9I9sx_QHgh3fgImPgxfAPX-_-EKIJwgy-pTJdSrbG4hOwKgXfSDc/s640/now2" width="640" /></a></div>
Or this one:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhefwFBkuchjzOetMGPK63Ncmbwd6lzhXtD3aKZoADkzu0Xbp7YP5bwtuK6ACIyN7k23XjIJRoEfb4EkY4PE3eoPMiK_fO_sSPs8LYszVJpDKBkQwDeiZ9w5hLp5lLC6plhiIRh_ehrYF8/s1600/now+3" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhefwFBkuchjzOetMGPK63Ncmbwd6lzhXtD3aKZoADkzu0Xbp7YP5bwtuK6ACIyN7k23XjIJRoEfb4EkY4PE3eoPMiK_fO_sSPs8LYszVJpDKBkQwDeiZ9w5hLp5lLC6plhiIRh_ehrYF8/s400/now+3" width="277" /></a></div>
Or this one:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQmobspimkfuhyphenhyphenPcOOt0uETqneAzoF9ygCUmjUP3Mlm1jKPCXY5yrZ3dSUftJJ0mtmjewIvLbWbSUvMNBP7hhEM3Ps2rYOtqi_5FPd8YSPS2oV24CQThAtyYgFo7Sy0AFR5cdpRc_tRvo/s1600/now1" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQmobspimkfuhyphenhyphenPcOOt0uETqneAzoF9ygCUmjUP3Mlm1jKPCXY5yrZ3dSUftJJ0mtmjewIvLbWbSUvMNBP7hhEM3Ps2rYOtqi_5FPd8YSPS2oV24CQThAtyYgFo7Sy0AFR5cdpRc_tRvo/s400/now1" width="300" /></a></div>
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Or the most important woman of all: yourself. The next time you open a fashion magazine and see "the perfect woman" staring back at you, stop and think for a moment: what does this woman have to offer that you don't?<br />
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The answer may come as a surprise: it's "nothing."<br />
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Keep a little bit of this sanity in mind when you enter the world of fake, photoshopped, airbrushed "perfection." #Sonjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17265004556812067992noreply@blogger.com0