"I choose to be fat."

An old friend from my hometown sent me a truly incredible piece of writing this past weekend from Laura Bogart, a freelance author who recently wrote an article called "I choose to be fat" (find it here).  It's a piece in which she discusses the self-esteem issues she's dealt with for the majority of her life as a result of being overweight. If you've struggled with your weight at any point in your life, as I have, it's a wonderful read.  But even if you haven't, this piece is truly empowering in that it speaks to the underlying issue most of us routinely face: never feeling like we're enough.

I would highly recommend you take the time to read the full article at some point, but in case you only have a few minutes right now, here are two of my favorite points:

• Whenever the women around me talk about how great so-and-so looks now that she’s joined that pricey gym or gone under the knife (even if so-and-so is still sort of a bitch), I remember purging and popping pills and eating three well-balanced meals a day; binging and starving and reading “Anna Karenina” on a StairMaster. But none of it left me happier or healthier. Just hungry.
• In every special episode about weight loss, tearful brides lament how big they look in wedding photos, as if the 26-inch waist they have now negates the husbands who’ve always loved them. Fathers choke up remembering the day they knew they “had to make a change,” the day their toddlers randomly called them fat, as if that observational indictment means more than all those “I love you’s.” There’s always a former Miss Lonelyheart, a thirtysomething virgin who — after a gastric bypass or militant adherence to the Paleo diet — has shed half her body weight and is finally ready for Mr. Right. I’ve no doubt that they really do feel healthier and happier, and honestly (truly) good for them. I just wish that the entirety of their lives weren’t reduced to a single achievement. 

Ms. Bogart hits on something really important here, and that thing is that your body does not define you.  Yes, it's where you live and it's what you carry with you through life, but the number of calories you eat or the size of your waist has nothing to do with who you are really are.  I've spent years watching people judge me for my weight - cashiers asking if I'm making a "good choice" when I buy brownie mix at the market instead of some sort of cruciferous vegetable; a man laughing at me in disbelief when he overheard me talking about how I had recently completed a triathlon; a nurse retaking my vital stats twice because she couldn't believe that they were all within the "optimal" range.  However, they know nothing about the groundbreaking work I've done in the animal welfare field or how much I love Christmastime or how I hope to open a bakery someday or really anything that defines who I am as a person.  And even worse, I carry this constant fear that even if they knew me, really knew me, none of it would matter; all they would see is "fat."

The point is this: you are so much more than your appearance.  Even if you were to transform yourself and reach that body you've always dreamed of, it certainly wouldn't be the most important thing you'd do in this world.  The amazing things you think about and feel and love and want to change are so much more important than any pair of jeans could ever be.  So how about this Thanksgiving, instead of putting even more energy into worrying about those few pounds you're constantly trying to stave off, try instead to be thankful for the beautiful body you were given, a body that allows you to do some pretty amazing things in this world.  You are not the size of your pants or the number on the scale.  You are real and you are incredible in the very body you're sitting in right now, and that is enough.

Oh, and have that second slice of pie if you have room.  Trust me on this one, you deserve it.

Enjoy the slice,

Sonja